


All Star

by RonniRotten



Series: Meme Salvage [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Accidental Deadnaming, Anxiety Attacks, Happy Ending, I took some liberties here, Injury, Light Angst, M/M, Shrek AU, Swearing, Trans Male Character, lots of liberties, sorta - Freeform, this started as a meme and a joke and look what happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2019-09-24 13:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 37,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17101367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonniRotten/pseuds/RonniRotten
Summary: Virgil has always been different, and he never had a problem with scaring people away. But when he meets a sly thief and finds his family's home is in jeopardy, Virgil finds himself on a life changing quest, but what good is one whiny prince gonna do for anyone?Yes this is an au based offShrekNo I'm not ashamedAnd yes Logan's the antagonist, but don't worry, he comes around in the end.





	1. What a Concept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _If you can make it past this I promise the memes will be less obnoxious_

Somebody once told him the world was gonna roll him. But he could never figure out what the heck that old pixie meant. His grandma, a human studies professor never made sense. She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an 'L’ on her forehead when she said it. Poor thing thought it was a gesture used to impart knowledge. Virgil didn't have the heart to correct her, but the message did stick and confused him as he grew up.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Virgil decided to investigate humans like his mom and dad did once he finished his schooling. A púca with razor sharp teeth like him had no place among humans. He had to go back to the rules he was raised with–avoid detection and torches at all costs. With that in mind he hit the ground running, building a home in a nice glen in the middle of the woods and crafting a myriad of potions.

Virge did make time for himself between projects. It didn't make sense not to live for fun, his brain got smart from his books, but his head got dumb without some interactions with the world. Usually it was an angry mob that came for his head, but he preferred getting invested in books and legends. Books didn’t wield pitchforks or hurl slurs at him.

He was bored one early morning, before dawn, and opened his favorite book, sitting in his favorite chair. Another sleepless night was not doing anything for his mood or his health, but they were too common for him to care anymore, so it made sense for him to tire his eyes with written words. He sipped at his home made herbal tea and read aloud, since no one would hear him:

“‘Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince, but he had an an enchantment upon him of a fearful sort. He was locked away in a dragon-guarded castle, waiting to be rescued. Only his true love could save him and break the curse with true love's kiss.’ Oh what a load of shit!” Virgil tossed the book aside and downed the rest of his drink. He was cranky, and the idea of true love? He was certain that if it were real, he would be out of luck. Who would believe a ‘demon’ could experience love? He was a chimera of humanoid parts, and he still doubted he was that fortunate. Then again, what experiences did he really have under his belt?

There was so much he had to do at home and so much to see beyond his humble abode, and threats around every corner. He explored through books—so what's wrong with taking the backstreets? He'd never know if he didn't go, and he hated that fact. His grandmother told him he'd never shine if he didn't glow with the hope of reminding him he had to explore and practice his craft to grow.

Speaking of glowing, Virgil spotted a trail of orange light nearing his home. He smirked darkly and crept out the back door, ready to have some fun. One last raid before daylight.

“Remember, be careful around here, and don't look it in the eye.” a townsman whispered to his comrades gathered on the edge of Virgil's property.

“That's right! Demons can turn you to stone with their gaze!” another added fearfully.

“Actually, that’s a Gorgon.” Virgil added from behind the mob. They spun around in shock and stared at him, horrified. This was possibly the most fun he would have all day, might as well make the most of it. 

“Now demons? They're much worse!” he said, taking a step forward. The crowd backed away, how cute.

“They'll steal your soul, possess your lover, boil your fluids under the full moon!—it’s actually quite good with fries.” he added that last part, not knowing if it were true. The horror on their faces was worth it.

“Stay back beast! I'm warning you!” the first man yelled and waved his torch in Virgil's face. Unamused, Virgil snapped his fingers and silently cast a spell to douse the fire. That was almost as rude as trespassing!

They stared each other down in silence, one frozen in fear, the other smug but losing his patience. Virgil had enough. He was bored with them and too tired to deal with anymore insults.

A deafening screech erupted from deep in his chest, spilling from his mouth. His eyes turned into beady, black abysses and his sharp teeth got even pointier. The Friday Scream1 was just the thing to elicit a crescendo of terror from the mob. That fae blood running through him was scarier than an actual demon. He was glad that he wasn’t a pixie, otherwise he would look like a full-fledged demon on Friday. A partial, controlled transformation like this was perfect for him, no worrying about going berserk weekly, and a he had a fun party trick to make an entire mob shit themselves. He could keep screeching for a while too, but he didn’t have the energy to do so, or the motivation. Their screams weren’t as loud anymore.

Virgil stopped his fairy rampage and watched the hunters scream for a moment more. Idiots. And then they fell silent.

“This is the part where you runaway.” Virgil hummed, admiring his cuticles–surprisingly he didn't need to trim them but he had a hangnail. That was annoying.

The mob bolted past him, back home. The wind that hit him from their rushed escape was refreshing. He cackled wickedly and shouted after them, though they wouldn't hear him:

“And stay out!”

If that was all the trouble that would find him that day, it would have been pretty normal. He could toss and turn for an hour or two before gathering the morning herbs, then try and rest again, ultimately failing until dusk. But as the world would have it, this would be anything but an average day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 - Pixies and fairies were said to turn into monsters on Fridays in British myth.
> 
>  
> 
> _yes i changed a little bit regarding the species...i wrote him as a púca without processing that this was the myth I was pulling from ~~plus i like saying 'púca'~~_


	2. Patt in Boots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I wanted to have Puss in Boots in the story, but I needed an equivalent to Donkey...Patton is a fun fusion of both_

This was a mission he was not prepared for in the least, but he had to do it. A sly cat crept into the castle undetected. His goal: the treasury. He could do it. He just had to land on his feet every time. The ventilation shaft didn't drop _that_ far, right?

He entered into a wide atrium with high ceilings, held up by columns covered in snakes. He slunk behind the nearest one before the guard who let him in saw him. There were very few tabby cats with dark fur on their back legs, like little booties. He could not afford to get caught.

He glanced around, listening for any approaching footsteps on the marble floor. That's when he spotted a small opening in the wall, a simple archway framed by red bricks. Bingo.

The cat carefully crawled inside. If he were more careful he would have noticed that the floor was sloping. He took one step too far and...

**_Mreeeeew!_ **

...he fell, tumbling in the dark, hitting the walls over and over at different angles. He swore his screech echoed, but it fell on deaf ears. That was a plus.

“Ow!” he whined when he landed with a thud, “that was a cat-astrophy!” He froze, realizing his mistake, and took in his surroundings. He was in a clean hearth  in a dark stone room. It was almost like a torture chamber, without instruments of torture. The only obvious furniture was a large oak table. The cat knew this was not the room he wanted. But could he leave? Not yet.

“You have the plans arranged?” A voice echoed as it neared the room, accompanied by two pairs of footsteps.

“Duh, Lord Logan, I already told you that, babe!” another voice replied annoyed with the first one. Then the door just outside of the cat's line of sight swung open. Two men walked in, one holding a rolled up piece of paper, the other holding a full mug.

“Remy, you will do well to calm your nerves before responding to my questions. One can never be too certain.” Lord Logan said as he unrolled the paper on the table. He wore a royal blue coat and plain pants, but he was elegant nonetheless. The same could not be said of Remy, the second one—his shirt and pants were old and plain and he was clearly not on Logan's level.

“Okay, sure thing L. I don't get your big plan, but I got it settled.” Remy sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Excellent. Your guard will have that area of the forest evacuated and cleared within a month.”

“What are you building again? We might run into trouble knowing what's in the forest.”

“Houses. We're going to make space in the town for a library, and we cannot displace any of our own.”

“M'kay but you know no one wants to live in the same woods as the demon, the hell if I have to move him!”

“There is no demon. If you have to fear a magical being, be aware of the pixies. It's in their territory.” Logan groaned and pointed to an area on the paper.

“Do you have their permission?” Remy pouted and took a swig of his beverage.

“Once you explain the reasoning behind this, I have no doubt they will yield.”

“No ma'am! You are not getting me to risk my neck with the pixies over a library!” Remy argued and headed for the door.

“It's for the educational expansion of our kingdom!”

“Oh sweetie!” Remy laughed, “You are no king!”

“I'm smarter. How else would I amass the funds needed? Who else would think to hide the vault under the armory?” Logan countered. Little did he know that he just gave someone just the information he needed.

The cat bolted without thinking. He had treasure to steal! Unfortunately for him, the Lord of the castle _and_ the head guard spotted him. Remy recognized him immediately.

“Puss in Boots!” Remy screeched before racing after the notorious thief. Logan scrambled behind them, unable to keep up with the fitter two.

Puss raced up the stairs, jumping and dodging as Remy fumbled to snatch him. He was so close but so far away! Puss reached the ground floor and made a beeline for the exit. He could return later.

“Assemble the guards!” the captain shouted. He was not letting the thief escape this time, that's what he told himself. Even when they headed towards the woods he was certain he would be successful. Or so he thought.

* * *

 

Virgil was casually walking around the forest, searching for herbs and mushrooms to make a potion to heal a nasty bruise he got from cleaning his humble abode. The problem with pixies is they're very pale, nocturnal creatures, and that makes bruises all the more ugly. He had found a blue flower with red thorns growing on the side of a tree and went to pluck a few when…

**_BAM_ **

A brown cat with black hind legs slammed into his leg. He glared down at the pesky animal with a sneer, but his head shot up when he heard shouting. Shouting that made the cat jump and claw into his calf. Oh great.

“You there! Demon!” A castle guard addressed him. Strike one. A few others were following him as he neared.

“By order of Lord Logan Lehrer,” he began. His voice caught in his throat when he spotted a set of razor-sharp chompers behind an unimpressed sneer.

“By order if Lord Logan Lehrer, I am to arrest you and your cat,—” Strike two. Virgil's sneer morphed into a wicked grin, making all the guards shake in their boots, “—and relocate you to a—a correctional facility.”

“Oh really? You and what army?” he hissed teasingly. The guard looked back and saw the others had fled. He didn't think twice, and ran out of the blue woods, screaming.

Virgil's smile faded and he quickly pried the tabby off his leg. He would have to heal that too. Joy.

“Shoo!” he hissed at the cat and stalked off toward his home. He had all he needed in his satchel.

But he didn't get far under that green canopy before someone behind him spoke to him:

“Oh wow! That sure was something! I've never seen them run that fast!”

“Are you talking to—me—?” Virgil asked as he spun on his heels. He didn't see anyone among the trees, no one could hide among the young plants. He was just hearing things, a side effect of his isolation.

“Yeppers! Thanks for saving my tail!” The cat giggled. Virge didn't see that coming, but he was not about to judge, not with his own little shape-shifting gift.

“Well now that it's saved, you can hightail it outta here.”

“I don't have anywhere to go. Besides, I like you–” the cat paused, waiting for a name.

“Virgil.”

“Virgil. Okay. Well I owe you one!”

“Oh yeah? Then go away. I want to be left alone.”

“Can I at least help you get home and tend to the nasty scratch on your leg? It was my fault.”

“How is a cat supposed to help me?”

“Actually it's Patt the Cat.”

“Now you want pets?!” Virgil groaned.

“No no! I wouldn't mind a scratch under the chin, but my name is Patt, well it's Patton, and I'm a morph."

“What?” Virge questioned. Patton chuckled and took on a clothed human form, with glasses, cat ears, and a tail.

“Oops! I should fix those!” he giggled. Virge stared in awe, wondering how those glasses stayed on his face. Patton squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated until he was red in the face.

**_Pop_ **

The ears and tail disappeared, leaving a bubbly man with a ton of freckles and his _full_ outfit standing before him. Virgil could tell that this man was not as innocent as he sounded–what sweetheart carries at least three daggers and a foil? And his accessories—a short dark cape, knee-high leather boots, and a wide-brimmed hat with a blue feather—was this guy a musketeer or something? A monster hunter perhaps? The last thing Virgil needed thanks.

“Surprise! See? I can help you get home and heal your leg! And then we can be friends.”

“Uh huh, sure, whatever you say, Patt.”

“Alrighty! Which way?”

“You aren't gonna let me go alone, are you?”

“I swear on my honor and horrible Antonio Banderas impression! I’m not about to leave my bestest new best buddy hurt and all alone in the woods.”

“Uh huh.” Virge mused, unimpressed. He walked away, knowing that Patton would follow him whether he liked it or not.


	3. A Rocky Start

“So you know I'm a morph and my name is Patton, but what about you, Virge? The brooding monster schtick isn’t all there is, right?” Patton asked as they wandered under a green canopy. Virgil grunted, not in the mood to talk and limping from _someone’s_ claws. Unfortunately, Patton was more than willing to fill in the blanks.

“I’m gonna guess you’re a healer with that bag of plants and stuff there. It must be hard to get patients in when you’re a little standoffish. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s okay to need space, especially with everyone calling you a demon!” Patt rambled, unaware of how far over the line he went. Virgil spun on his heels and screeched at him like it was Friday the 13th.

“Wow!” Patton said as his face broke into a wide grin, “That was really scary! I bet you even a pixie would faint from that! It reminds me of the time I was robbing Duloc to give back to the people. Those taxes were high!—”

Virgil tuned him out. He was put off by the lack of fear Patton showed. That was his best trick, and it failed him completely. What was with this talkative pain in the neck? What would make him go away and leave him be?

“—Farquaad was lucky he was wearing his brown pants, lemme tell you!”

“Do you ever stop talking?” Virgil huffed, shooting him a sideways death glare.

“Yeah! But it’s so quiet! Tell me something about yourself, Virge! I wanna know more about my new best friend!”

“Oh, here’s something, we’re not best friends. Will you go away now?”

“Not yet! I like you, you don’t care about what others think of you and you’re sharp! I just get the feeling you’re a little lonely being all alone, and I wanna fix that.”

“Well, you’re wrong there. I don’t need unnecessary attention.”

“C’mon! I won’t _faun_ over you! I just think you need to ex- _pan_ your circle and _satyr_ time spent with friends.” Patton laughed and clapped a hand on Virgil’s shoulder.

“Satyr? Was that supposed to be ‘savor?’” Virgil hissed.

“You know it!”

“And you have me figured out already?” he continued, ignoring the barrage of puns. He didn't have to tell Patton he was actually a púca, a trickster or a secret helping hand, either way nothing he was proud of.

“Yup! You’re definitely part faun, the horns are a dead giveaway, and part pixie, because that scream was 100% pixie and nothing else, you can’t convince me otherwise.”

“Okay, you know I’m not a demon, but I could still kill you if I wanted.” Virgil ceded.

“Oh now I know you’re just messing with me! I’m a skilled swordsman, a morph, and I have combat training. You might have magic on your side, but it would be so hard to kill me. Besides, you don’t want to!”

“Bold of you to assume.”

“Well if you wanted me dead, I would already be dead.” Patton laughed. Virgil snarled under his breath and trudged on. The glen wasn’t far away and after his leg was bandaged, he would be rid of Patton. But as the trees thinned and Patton kept talking, he had his doubts. And then among the grass in the clearing he saw his humble home.

“What a cute cottage!” Patton squealed, “I bet the little old woman who lives there makes the best cookies! Ooh! Can we stop by and say hi before we get to your house?”

“That is my house.” Virgil deadpanned. It was a simple brick cottage with a thatch roof. Anyone could live there! What made Patton think it was an old woman’s home? The herb garden probably. Lame.

“Oh! I wasn’t expecting that! It’s still lovely! I love what you’ve done with the place on such a modest budget! Are those rose bushes! They’re so vibrant!” Patton went on, not registering that Virgil had had enough of him.

“Yeah, okay, Patt, thanks, it's not that amazing, just a home.”

“But it’s your home! And it says a lot more about you than you might think, Mr. Scary Satyr.”

“Then what part of it says I want you to stick around?”

“Hmm, well there's no fence, or mushroom circle, your window is open, none of the animals are running away.”

“What?!” Virgil screeched. He raced toward his house, ignoring the pain in his leg. He never left the windows open! They were locked up tight like his door when he was away. What if someone got in? They could rob him blind, frame him for a crime, even kill him! His pulse thundered in his ears as he came to realize all his fears.

“Virgil wait! Your leg!” Patton shouted and followed him. He stumbled as much as Virgil over roots and rocks and the occasional pitchfork. Wait, pitchfork?!

Patton's eyes went wide as soon as he understood. Without thinking he jumped and turned into a dragonfly. He zipped past Virgil at top speed, aiming for the open window. If someone were inside ready to hurt Virge, he would be the worst surprise they could ever imagine! Virgil ran even faster, his leg burning. He saw Patton fly inside while he still had a long way to go.

By the time he reached the door, Virgil was out of breath and completely frenzied. Patton opened the door from the inside and beamed when he let Virgil in. Virge glanced around; nothing was out of place. His chair, kitchen, cauldron, even the bookshelves were in order. He slumped over and groaned. Did he really get worked up over nothing?

“Hey! Let me go you shifty fuck!” a tiny voice screeched. Virgil got one look at Patton’s free hand and nearly lost it. He had a tiny pixie by the wings, firmly holding them in place without hurting them. Virgil immediately recognized the dark hair and brown eyes.

“Joan?”

“Who else?! Now tell Mystique to drop me!”

“Patt, let them go. They’re a friend.”

“Oh! Sorry! I thought they were going to hurt you, kiddo.” Patton gasped and carefully set the irate pixie on the ground. Joan shook out their wings with a huff and grew to the size of a human, losing their treasured wings in the process. Never take away a pixie's wings.

“Joan, what are you doing here? Last I checked, breaking and entering is illegal.” Virgil said, crossing his arms menacingly.

“Hello to you too!” Joan laughed, “It’s not like I stopped by just to chat.”

“You would have waited outside for that. Try again, and don’t make Patton here mad, I’m not sure what he’s capable of, and I don’t want to find out.”

“Well, they tore down my tree, so I need a place to crash. That’s what I get for moving to the edge of the country, right?”

“Who?”

“Lord Logan, of course!” Patton jumped in, “He’s planning on relocating a few families to build a library in his city.”

“A library?” Virgil asked, unamused.

“Yup! I think he’s planning on moving into pixie territory soon, but I’m not entirely sure.”

“He can’t do that!” Joan shouted, “No! No! He can’t! Not without a royal decree or permission! He doesn’t have either, so what kind of bullshit is he trying?!”

“So he can’t do anything without a royal decree? I wonder how he’ll find a way around that.” Virge hummed, “You should go stop him before he figures it out.”

“Why do you think I came here? You're the only one of us who might keep his cool. I'm ready to throw the fuck down! With Logan!” Joan hissed and threw their arms out to the side, completely exasperated. They hit poor Patton.

“Woah there friendo!” Patton said as he gently moved the arm that his him, “Virge needs to heal his leg first.” Joan got one look at the torn pant leg and dried blood on Virgil and stumbled back into Patton.

“Oh shit!”

“It’s just a few scratches, it looks worse than it is. And who said I was going into the city? Don’t tell me you didn’t see the abandoned torches and pitchforks.”

“Huh, yeah now that you mention it.” Joan mused.

“And another thing, what makes you think I know how to get there? I’ll admit I don’t want another family reunion, but you’re asking a lot.”

“I know how to get there! And I’ll keep you safe. I owe you one, and I can’t let Logan force people from their homes in good conscience.” Patton volunteered.

“I will make the pouty face if you don’t go Virge.” Joan warned. Virgil cringed, admitting defeat. No one could resist Joan’s pouty face, not even the most evil dragon witch.

“Salve, rest, and we go at dawn. No ifs ands or buts.” Virgil sneered. Joan was biting back laughter, which wasn’t helping.

“Butts!” Patton giggled. Virgil hated them both so much.


	4. The Tournament

“Logibear!” Remy called sweetly as he entered the noble’s study. Amid the walls of books, Logan sat hunched over his desk, designing the blueprint for his precious library. Remy let himself in, knowing full well that someone was too engrossed to reply like a decent human.

“Babe, you need to take a break. You’re working overtime, and it is not a good look on you.” Remy cooed, placing a warm hand on Logan’s shoulder. Logan twisted to face him slowly and blinked away some of his fatigue.

“Remy, you know I need to finalize these plans to stay on schedule. Unless you have some news that could change the schedule, I would appreciate it if you let me be.” Logan replied wearily. Remy winced. There were several reasons he stopped by, one of which was completely awful news.

“About that, we got to the edge of the pixies’ territory, I explained the sitch, but like, babe, they refused to go.” Remy said rubbing the back of his neck. Logan scowled and sighed.

“Negotiations would take months and by the time we reach an understanding it will be winter! I can’t have my people working like that in such a harsh environment. What am I supposed to do? They won’t take orders from me, I’m a lord.”

“Yeah, it’s too bad you’re not like a king or something. You’d have to get married to a princess or prince and you know you wo-”

“That’s it!” Logan cheered and leapt to his feet. The bright smile takin over his usually stoic face warmed Remy’s heart almost as much as the sudden hug he was pulled into.

“Lo?”

“You’re a-you’re good Remy!” he caught himself, “That’s what I have to do, for the sake of knowledge! I’ll rescue a royal, or perhaps send someone more equipped to do it!”

“Oh, uh, okay.” Remy said with as much fake enthusiasm as he could muster.

“Assemble your men. Tomorrow we hold a tournament and then we send the winner to rescue the only trapped prince in the vicinity. There’s no time to lose!”

“Sure thing, Lolo, but you’re gonna have to let me go first.”

“Why would you want to resign? Is there-oh.” Logan asked, only to realize he had his guard captain in an embrace. Reluctantly he let go and stepped back, a bright blush dusting his cheeks. Oh the things he would sacrifice for the betterment of his people.

* * *

 

“So, what you’re telling me is that you’re not like an onion?” Patton asked, craning his neck to look back at Virgil, who was riding on his back. Patton insisted he carry him because of his leg, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Virgil thought he just liked being a horse.

“I’m not an ogre. I’m more like a parfait. I have layers, but each one is different. Some are sweet, others a little tangy, and the best ones brittle and crunchy.” Virgil explained blandly. Why he ever admitted to having layers was beyond him. 

“So you do have a sweet side hidden under the scariness and sass!” Patton laughed, “I’m kinda surprised you used that as your example, though! I would have picked the same metaphor!”

“You’re a soft little puffball. You’re more like a cake Patton.”

“I’m a notorious thief with a casualty count taller than the castle tower. I might have a squishy exterior, but don’t mistake my kindness for weakness.” Patton corrected with a horsey pout.

“Alright, but do you have a calm, serious layer? I might need some help with negotiating.”

“Virge, I’m a wanted man.”

“Grow a pair of horns and hide your weapons. You can do that right?”

“I would rather not. I have other reasons that I’d rather not get into.” he sighed. There was no need for Virgil to know that much this soon. Instead of listening to Virgil’s understanding reply, Patton took in the scenery to ease his mind. He didn’t like the idea of going into the city, even when he was trying to rob the rich.

Fortunately for him, the wheatfields were lush and full of rolling grains that waved to him in the wind. The packed dirt path beneath his hooves brought a warmth to his chest that could never be matched by human contact. The scent of apple groves wafting on the breeze made his mouth water. And the large gates on the sandy wall up ahead were open, like his heart now. Wait, those gates were supposed to be closed and guarded. Something was going on, and Patton was not about to find out what.

“This is where we part ways, Virge.” Patton said with an air of finality that threw off his rider.

“What? I thought you would want to wait here to help me get home or something.” Virgil squeaked, he didn’t want Patton to stay, no! But this was behavior that didn’t seem like the friendly morph at all. Something was wrong, and it was putting a strain on his nerves.

“Do you want me to do that? I can, I just thought you wanted me to leave you alone.”

“I-I do but-I-agh!” Virgil stuttered, unable to form an honest sentence. He was too stressed to deal with this on top of the threat of his family moving in, the destruction of his old home, and confronting Lord Logan Lehrer. Patton was the only stability and security he had at the moment and he refused to admit that out loud.

“I’ll stay here and wait for you.” Patton relented with a half smile. Virgil climbed off his back and took a deep breath. Patton would stay, that was comforting. He could do this.

“Thanks, Patt.”

“Don’t mention it! Just make sure you go to the castle right away, no detours.”

“That I can do.” Virgil smirked. Patton nudged him toward the gate and snorted. This kid was too much. Virgil’s smirk fell immediately afterward. He was not happy about entering into a world of hate. But that wasn’t what he got at all.

The narrow streets were empty, as were the two-story cottages with their thatched roofs. It was eerily quiet, that is until he neared the castle. The crowd behind the stadium wall murmured between loud bounts of fanfare. Great there was an event, and Virgil was walking right into it, horns in plain sight. He wanted to turn around and flee, but the memory of Joan’s little pouty face stopped him. So he walked in through one of the lower doors, not knowing where it led.

“People of Sandrose, I welcome you to the event that will decide not only my but all of our futures. Brave knights, You are the best and brightest in all the land. Today one of you shall prove yourself the best and brightest of them all, a champion! That champion shall have the honor-no, no, the privilege to go forth and rescue the elusive Prince Roman from the fiery keep of the dragon!” a man shouted from a square balcony. The echo bouncing off the stone walls from his voice and the crowd’s cheers set Virgil on edge. He could feel his body transforming into a much more goat-like one.

“If for any reason, the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place, and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make.” the man kept going. Lord Logan looked bored as he gave his speech, decked in that indigo garb like a wannabe king. The guard next to him looked twice as bored, clearly a captain of some sort. Virgil was not ready for either one, but he stepped into the light as the crowd cheered. He had no choice. He was a goat-headed fae with nowhere to run and every reason to fight. He almost laughed when those cheers turned to screams of horror and disgust.

“What is that?” Logan asked, staring Virgil down, trying to understand. Remy got one look and cringed,

“Ugh! It’s hideous!”

“Oh, that’s not very nice,” Virgil jeered, his voice resounding with each breath, “It’s just a cheap shirt!”

“Indeed.” Logan said, looking down at his attire, unamused, “Knights, new plan! The one who defeats the demon will be named champion! Have at him!”

All the swords, spears, and axes in the room suddenly pointed in his direction. Virgil glanced around, spotting a giant keg, and a sort of fighting ring. Idea!

“Easy now! Can’t we settle this over drinks instead?” he said, backing up. He grabbed a mug and waited, itching to finish this quickly.

“No? Alright then!” he shouted and slammed the mug down on the tap, hard enough to break it away from the rest of the barrel. He leapt up, climbing to the top as a rush of ale spewed out and splattered the majority of the knights ready to attack, knocking them to the ground and drenching them to the point they could not get up or move at normal speed. 

“Come at me!” Virge laughed atop the barrel, bouncing on one foot and then the other. It looked like he was taunting them, which was partly true, but Virgil also needed to release some of the adrenaline coursing through his system.

“Archers!” Remy shouted, “Fire!” Arrows flew at the barrel on all sides. Without wasting a second, Virge tumbled to the ground, knocking over a knight or two. His spur of the moment plan was working well—he would stay on the defensive and let the knights do his work for him.

_ Left _

_ Crouch _

_ Dodge _

_ Skid _

_ Left _

_ Right  _

_ Bang _

No one could lay a finger on him, though there were a few near misses. It ended with Virge in the middle of the ring with two unconscious knights in front of him. They rammed their own heads together.

“Archers!” Remy shouted and quietly said to Logan, “Say the word babe.”

“I have a better idea.” Logan hummed softly before addressing the crowd, “People of Sandrose, I give you your champion!”

“What now?” Virge yelped, shifting into a more wolf-like form. He needed to get better control over his abilities when he was anxious.

“You have earned the privilege of retrieving Prince Roman from his prison. In return I will grant you one prize, as long as it's in my power.” Logan answered calmly.

“Even moving your library somewhere other than that part of the forest?” Virgil peeped. Remy covered his mouth with his hand and fought back his giggled. He really went there! And Logan was pissed. The nerve! At least he had one advantage.

“Very well, púca. I will adjust my plans accordingly.” Logan answered him, “Return with Prince Roman and you will get exactly what you asked for.”

“No tricks?” Virge asked warily. He was secretly thrilled that someone assumed his nature correctly.

“You have my word. I will not build my library in the forest.” Logan said. Remy ran inside before he broke into a fit of laughter. Lo just did that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _why yes there is some Patton backstory on the way._


	5. And They're Off

“Virgil?!” Patton yelped when a horned wolf with hooves exited the kingdom. Virgil's ears went flat against his skull and he whimpered, ashamed more than anything.

“What happened in there?”

“Well, I transformed twice in the middle of a stadium, and now I'm going to have to find and rescue a royal pain to keep Joan from using their puppy-dog eyes.” Virgil sighed and laid on the ground with a frustrated huff.

“Things didn't go as planned, huh?”

“Nope. How am I supposed to fight a dragon? I don't know how to fight, just dodge!” Virge groaned and hid his face with his hooves. Patton hated seeing him like this, he hated seeing anyone so lost and defeated.

“Hey,” Patton hummed softly and shifted into his human form, “You won't have to fight a dragon, not with me by your side.”

“I thought you were gonna go.”

“Plans change. My goal was to secure the pixies’ home and safety. Since I didn't reach that goal yet, you're stuck with me.”

“You don't have to be nice because I look pathetic.”

“Don't be silly! I knew from the beginning your bark is worse than your bite!” Patton giggled, “And you don't look pathetic, there's a lot resting on your shoulders.” Virge snorted and returned to his human form, sitting curled up in a ball.

“I'm a fae who can't fight—hell, I get called a demon all the time and I don't have the guts to correct them. Why did I agree to this?” Virgil complained. A loving smile crossed Patton's lips and he scooped the poor púca up into his arms.

“You agreed to protect your family, and that's so brave of you.” Patt hummed and rocked the ball of fairy energy like a baby. It was soothing and humiliating.

“Please put me down.”

“Sure!” Patton complied, making sure that Virgil was balanced before completely letting go. Virgil was still shaking.

“Hey, I had an idea. If you want I can give you a ride part of the way. I feel bad for making you face the entire kingdom alone.”

“Patt, I'm a púca, I can turn into a horse.”

“A poo-kah? So I was wrong about you being part faun?”

“It was a better mistake than most, but yeah. I'm a shape-shifting fae with a limited amount of shapes. Guess I'm a first for you.” Virge replied sheepishly, rubbing the tip of his horn. Then he saw the stars twinkling in Patt's eyes and flinched. Uh oh.

“You are the first púca I met, I never thought a creature so cool existed! I wanna know everything! You can tell me on the way to the dragon's keep!”

“If you know the way.”

“Yup! I passed it on my way to Sandrose.” Patt beamed proudly, “Seriously, hop on so we can do this faster!” He turned into a horse and stamped his hooves.

Sighing and observing his bare feet, Virgil took a minute to accept defeat and said, “You're not letting me walk. Crouch a little, I'm not that tall.” Patton whinnied and did as he was asked, thrilled to be of service.

Virgil climbed on his back and thought of different conversation topics, other than púcaí. They would be traveling for a while, and Patton did enjoy chatting. Food was always an option, except when they didn't have any. Magic maybe? He could ask about Patton's adventures and heists. Maybe he would.

Patton whinnied once more before trotting off into the fields. The warm sun was like a cozy blanket for Virgil, who was more exhausted than he realized. With his arms draped around the horse’s neck, Virgil drifted off to the steady rocking of Patton's gait.

“You know, I really am sorry for not going in there with you, Virge.” Patton sighed, “I'm no hero to the people like I claim if I can't bring myself to face Logan, with my own face.” He waited for some response. He needed to hear that it was okay. All he got in return was snoring.

“I'll tell you later, maybe.” Patton chuckled and pressed on. It was not a short trip. He didn't mind–the birds were chirping and the ground was just right. The soft blue sky overhead filled him with delight, an emancipating joy only an open sky could provide. Sure he was trapped in this quest by his morals, but he was free and in good company nonetheless, and very little could dampen his spirit.

* * *

 

“Huh?” Virgil groaned as he awoke. The landscape was different–no wheat fields, no cottages, no walls. It was just a meadow with a few odd fruit trees and a forest up ahead. Looking to a side he saw an abandoned windmill, not in too much disrepair, and the castle in Sandrose in the distance.

“Good morning starshine!” Patton chuckled, “Did you have a nice nap, Virge?”

“How long—?”

“Like two hours, not that long. I was extra careful not to wake you.”

“You shouldn't have let me sleep, I can do that when this mess is over.”

“I thought you and I were gonna have bonding time on our big adventure.”

“Well yeah, but less is more, right?” Virge shrugged awkwardly. If he weren't so stressed before, he would have happily gone alone. This was his own doing and he had to live with it.

“I guess.” Patton pouted–he hated the mixed signals he was getting.

“How far is the royal pain anyway?”

“See those mountains up ahead?” Patton motioned to a large mountain range in the distance, the peaks covered by clouds.

“Oh shit.”

“It's at least a three days journey if we both run as horses, including time to rest and eat. I refuse to let you go without either.”

“Why doesn't that shock me?” Virge sighed, “Pull over. I'm gonna walk, or run, whichever.”

“If you can keep up, sure!” Patton said,coming to a halt and crouching so Virgil could dismount. Virge rolled his eyes, he was a fairy in more than one sense of the word, Patton would be the one struggling! He took the shape of a dark horse with a flowing mane and tail, highlighted with purple streaks to match his glowing eyes. His horns were gone. Patton was impressed, to say the least.

“So you can turn into a wolf, a person, and a horse!? That is so cool!”

“Not really. I’m limited, you can be anything or anyone you want, don’t pretend to be impressed.”

“I’m not pretending! I had to study to get good at shape shifting, even with a natural ability. I’m just a human at the end of the day, and I don’t look nearly as magical. Give yourself some credit Virge!”

“You had to study?”

“Yup! And lemme tell you, finding the time between guard training and school was impossible!”

“Guard training?” Virge asked, stamping his hoof out of confusion. He had to have misheard. Then again, Patton looked like he just kicked a hornet’s nest.

With a new fear rising in him, Patton blurted out one thing before bolting in the direction of the castle: “Race ya!” Virgil followed, expecting answers later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I am having way too much fun with this_


	6. On Guard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angry Patt in Boots? It's more likely than you think.

The rolling meadow gave way to a cute woodland full of life. Patton was running out of steam as he leapt and dodged the occasional roots and branches. He did not want to stop until they broke through the tree line-dusk was fast approaching and the dark would hold secrets he refused to learn. Secrets that Virgil already knew.

“Hoo boy!” Patton laughed airily when he saw Virgil gaining on him. It was a race, but nothing about the púca screamed tired, it was like he was letting Patton get ahead.

“What? Are you giving up? You look like you’re going to pass out.”

“I’m not giving up until we’re out—out of these trees!”

“Let me carry you for a while. I don’t feel like dragging an exhausted horse around.”

“Don’t worry, Virge, I—” Patton said, looking back, only to trip over an old gnarled root. He tumbled forward, shifting into a cat, and rolled on the ground with a whine.

“Patton!” Virge galloped to his side and crouched down.

“I’m okay! Just wasn’t looking where I was going.” Patton brushed him off and got to his feet. He avoided putting pressure on his front, left paw and winced. Virgil looked like he didn’t believe a word of it.

“Climb on. I’ll gather a few ingredients and make a salve for that when we stop to rest.”

“You don’t have to do that for me, it’s just a twisted ankle, or wrist, nothing serious.”

“You’re right I don’t. Now get on.” Virge snorted irately. He was not about to leave Patton behind, not when he knew the way, and not when he provided company, something Virgil could admit to enjoying. The kitty looked him up and down and smiled.

Patt the Cat turned into regular old Patton and climbed on Virgil’s back. It was easier to do that with a sprained wrist than a hurt paw. He settled himself on Virgil’s back and wove his fingers through the stallion’s dark mane.

“Your mane is really soft!” he mused. Instead of taking the compliment, Virgil bolted, making Patton cling to him for dear life.

“So, guard training?” Virge hummed as he wove through the trees as if it were second nature. It wasn't like he was raised in the woods or something, not at all!

“What about it?”

“A little explanation. You threw that out there and didn't think I would remember?”

“I trained by to be a guard!”

“There's more to it. C'mon, who am I to judge? A fae who doesn't get out won't share your secrets.”

“It's a long story.”

“We have time and I would rather distract you from killing me once this is over.”

“I would never! You gotta trust me a little!”

“Not without reason. Now that I'm thinking clearly I really don't know if I should, former guard. It doesn't have to be everything, but you should be willing to open up a little.”

“Only if you do!”

“Deal.” Virgil agreed. He was concerned about the guard training, enough to reveal some of his life to save it. Castle guards, royal guards, they were smart, they wanted to protect, but in his case they would attack. He didn't think Patton was out to harm him, but the man was fairly tight-lipped and dangerous, which made him nervous.

“Okay so I grew up in Sandrose, and I trained to be a castle guard. I got a good education but I didn't get out much. I left after I saw the poverty on the streets, the cruelty of some of the guards, and the way the people glared at me.” Patton explained, ducking occasionally to evade low hanging branches. He remembered that day so vividly, like a bad dream...

* * *

“Patton!” a young Logan shouted as he searched the old castle. It was mid afternoon and the tutor was out of town, meaning Logan would lead the study session. A good education was key for the future ruler and he wanted nothing more than to share it with his best friend. But Patton was nowhere to be found.

Of course he wasn't there! Books only went so far. Training dummies only went so far. Patton wanted to get messy, experience the world through the lens of his world. He was in the town square, getting a real life lesson.

The uniform made him stand out in the worst way. The poor kid he saved from another guard was terrified of him. It was just one apple for one hungry child. The barrage of insults flying between the three parties, the kid's near arrest, the lecture he got when he put a stop to the inhumanity. If that was what being a guard was all about, he wanted nothing to do with it. He was going to undo the wrongs in the kingdom no matter what cost.

“Patton!” Logan cheered, happy to have found him after an hour of searching. They wound up in Patt's room, but the meeting was far too tense. Logan saw the sack and the scowl. Patton never looked so furious.

“Your guards need to learn a lesson in courtesy.” Patton scoffed unprompted.

“I beg your pardon?”

“There are children—children starving in the streets—your streets! There are more people in poverty than I thought possible. Not one ounce of humanity in those guards, Logan.”

“What prompted this?”

“A kid stole an apple. Your guards were going to arrest him for trying to survive.”

“The farmers need to survive too.”

“One. Apple. That's no reason to throw a kid who still has their milk teeth in prison. I paid for the fruit because it was the right thing to do but that doesn't fix the problem.”

“I don't understand. If you paid for it and sorted it out, why are you upset?”

“Because that kid wasn't the only one who needed food! The streets are full of beggars! Are you doing anything about that?” Patton snapped, “Are you planning on keeping those people alive and fed so you can _educate_ them?”

“Patton—”

“Logan. We're friends, but I cannot begin to tell you how flawed your understanding of the world is. Skills and knowledge don't fix everything. Take care of your people until there are more jobs, or else I'll do it for you.”

“Is that a threat? My plan is to create a smarter kingdom, one that won't rely on my financial assistance.”

“You're taxing people out of their homes! Lo, your father might love your plan, but you're going about it all wrong!”

“Are you suggesting that I'm in the wrong for wanting everyone to have access to knowledge!? That I am wrong for wanting to improve more than just a few empty stomachs!? People don't need a banquet daily to live!” Logan shouted, enraged and losing his patience.

“You have no idea what is happening out there! Put down your books and see for yourself! I'm sorry but I am not going to sit by and watch anymore!” Patton snarled and tied up his full bag. He slung it over his shoulder and stormed past Logan.

“Where do you think you're going! You're a guard in training!”

“Not anymore!” Patton snapped before transforming into an eagle and flying off with his bag clutched in his talons. He didn't look back at Logan's broken expression. But he would return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I'm veering away from the original_ Shrek _but I kinda like it_


	7. Learning New Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _literally this is just a shameless excuse for backstory and filler_

The crackling of a campfire woke Patton from a nightmarish trance. He realized he was laying on the ground in a soft patch of grass under a clear sky. His eyes wandered to his wrist and he was surprised to see it was coated in a green ointment.

“You're up. Thank God.” Virgil said sitting by the fire. His eyes were locked on the dancing flames that highlighted his stoic face eerily.

“What happened? All I remember is telling you about why I quit being a guard and then nothing up until now, just this horrible dread.”

“That was my fault. I'm a púca, if I offer you a ride you'll go on a terrifying journey. I tried to get to safety as fast as I could while grabbing the ingredients I needed. I wasn't fast enough. I'm sorry.” Virge sighed, his eyes brimming with tears.

Sitting up and full of concern, Patton tried to console him, “It's okay. You got me here and tended to my wound. So what if I relived an old nightmare? We're out of the woods and on our way to save the day.”

“I shouldn't have made you ride on my back. I know better than that, and it reminded me that they're not wrong to fear me. That I should have gone alone.”

“But you shouldn't have gone alone. You are scary, I'll admit that, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have friends. I bet there's more to you than just that aspect. Heck, you’re a healer who took good care of me!”

“Maybe so.” Virge mused and wiped his eyes.

“Definitely.” Patton chuckled, “Now tell me something about you. I remember our deal.” Virge let out a harsh breath through his nose and shook his head with a smirk. He expected as much.

“What do you want to know?”

“Tell me about being a healer–how you got into it.”

“Let's see,” Virgil tapped his chin, “I guess it's been a hobby since I was a kid. Joan and Talyn and I were always getting into messes and into places we shouldn't have been. Someone had to patch us up before we got in trouble.”

“Talyn?”

“Another pixie, like Joan. They're shorter than Joan, but just as fiery. You would like them, they're adorable.” A soft smile crept into Virgil's face. The adventures he was dragged into were always exciting to say the least. He missed those two more than he realized, never getting out much. The far off gleam in his eyes warmed Patton's heart–this guy was definitely worth more than he seemed to believe.

“What kind of adventures?”

“Hmm, one time we snuck out on a Thursday night, which is dangerous for pixies.”

“How so?”

“They turn into monsters on Fridays. I just follow along for the fun.”

“Oh, right. I forgot that happens.”

“Anyway, we snuck out and went so deep into the forest that we wound up near Duloc. We didn't get home before the transformation and the two of them fought a family of bears for fun while an angry mob chased us.”

“That sounds terrifying!”

“It was. I was panicking the entire time, but it was an adventure.” Virge shrugged. Not all adventures were good.

“Did you have any that you enjoyed?”

“Yeah, there was the time we climbed to the top of the Great Pine–like we actually climbed the tree. The view at the top was amazing.” Virge mused wistfully. There was something about seeing the stars twinkle overhead after all the work it took to reach the top. Flying up to the heavens was too easy. Such a simple change of pace filled them with purpose. Patton understood completely.

“That reminds me of the time I robbed the Whispering Towers in Valour Cove.”

“Isn't that place haunted?”

“Sure is! But those ghosts were hoarding treasure and the locals were desperate. I was scared out of my shorts!”

“But you stole from them anyway?”

“Well yeah! But I couldn't just let everyone else suffer. Ghosts don't need gold, neither do I. Not really. Seeing the valleys from the very top was reward enough for everything. It was the most humbling sight.”

“You didn't keep any of the treasure? Really?”

“Well, enough to buy a meal but nothing more. Scraps for strays get old after a while, ya know?”

“Strays? You mean cats?” Virge asked, tilting his head as if the motion would clear up his confusion.

“I'm almost always a cat. You're the only person who's seen me like this in years.”

“Then how did you buy food?”

“Well I went as an old man. The senior discounts are awesome.” Patton giggled impishly.

“That's cheating.”

“Not really, seniors don't make as much money in most villages, the prices are lower, but the inns and taverns don't lose money.” Patton hummed. The orange glow from the fire made him look older than he was and far more tired than he let on. The air grew still as a blanket of awkwardness settled in.

“That—That’s a cool loophole.” Virge coughed, “So, why a cat?” Patton lit up instantly and chuckled.

“Cats are flexible, agile, and most importantly, adorable!”

“Adorable?” Virgil snorted, “that's why you chose to be a cat?”

“Yup! It's so much fun to be cute and cuddly! I love the snuggles and pets! I just hate carrying lavender all the time.”

“Yeah, I guess you would have to to keep the fleas away. I'm kinda surprised, the hardened criminal and former guard likes cuddles and cute things.”

“I'm complex, that's what my best friend used to say.” Patton replied with a shrug. He was careful to keep his expression cheerful and relaxed. Virgil bought it.

“Well you look exhausted. Let me clean up that hand so you can get some sleep.” Virge grunted and stood. Those horns certainly made him look demonic in the dim light.

“What about you?”

“I don't need as much sleep, but if it keeps you from staying up, I'll go to sleep after you're cleaned up.” Virge responded and tore a piece off the bottom of his tunic. He held up a hand to keep Patton from scolding him–the garment reached just above his knee, he could spare a piece. He crouched by Patton and gingerly took his injured hand, carefully wiping away the salve.

Patton was amazed at how gentle he was. He could hardly feel any pressure on his hand, though it wasn't numb. Virgil's face was twisted in concentration as if he were scared of hurting Patton.

“Wow,” Patton breathed when he was finished, “I don't know why anyone would consider you a demon. You're a really good healer.” Virgil scoffed and tossed the soiled fabric aside. He was hiding a proud blush; humans never said such kind words to him. He had no idea how to handle it.

“Get some rest, Patt. You clearly need it.” he huffed and rolled onto his side, facing away from Patton. Patt just smiled at him and flopped onto his back. Mission befriend Virge was coming along.


	8. On Edge

Two more nights under the stars and another half day racing toward the dragon's keep brought the duo closer and closer. Yes there were still secrets neither wanted to share, but that was perfectly fine. It was nice to have someone around, especially when there were obstacles.

“Woah!” Virgil commented as he skidded to a halt at the base of a steep cliff. The facade was uneven, with steps of rock jutting out. No horse or human would be able to climb it without equipment. Virgil wasn't entirely sure how he and Patton could get up to the tower. It was too risky to fly as birds with the dragon and wind.

“Yep! That's one heck of a cliff!”

“How are we—?”

“I can get to the top as a cat. That goat path is pretty sturdy looking.”

“Goat path?”

“The ledges. I can get to the top, find a rope, and lower it for you.” Patton explained, turning into that familiar tabby. He looked back at Virgil, hoping for some affirmation of the plan, but instead of a shadowy stallion, a goat with dark fur watched him expectantly. This time, Patton wasn’t surprised at all. Those horns had to come from somewhere.

“So, goat path.”

“Yup! I don’t know what’s at the top, but we’ll have fun getting there.”

“A moat of lava, an old castle, and some dead knights most likely.” Virge commented off-handedly. He winced under Patton's confused gaze and added, “I read it in a book once.”

“In that case, let's go!” Patton cheered and raced to the side of the cliff. He took a minute to study the footholds carefully, his tail wagging like a metronome in concentration. He leapt onto the lowest step and repeated the process of judging and jumping to the next one, occasionally pawing and reaching toward his next goal before taking the necessary leap. It was amusing to watch.

But Virgil regrettably had to follow. He didn’t have to focus nearly as much, he was bigger than Catton and he was the right animal for the ascent. His skips and jumps were less dramatic and less dangerous that the cat above him, but, true to his nature, Virgil was careful. Some of the rocks were loose, unstable. He could fall.

Like Patton did!

A horrified meow was the only warning Virgil got before a ball of freaked-out fur landed on his head, specifically his horns. Instead of checking to make sure Patton was okay–which he wasn’t, those claws were digging into Virgil’s horns—Virgil kept climbing. It would be safer at the top for both of them, so there was no time to delay. But there was one thing Virgil had to comment on despite his haste:

“Dude, did you seriously just fart?”

“No!” Patton whined, “It’s brimstone!”

“That smell did not come off a stone!” Virgil huffed as he made the last jump to the top. That's when he realized it _ was _ brimstone and not a nervous fart. 

The lava moat he expected was more like a river. Patton jumped from his head, retracting his claws to be safe, and scurried to the other edge of the cliff. Virgil hesitantly followed. Upon getting closer, he could smell molten silver in the river—a horrible obstacle for a fae like him. In fact it was so potent that he turned back into his human form.

“Wow! I'd hate to fall in there!” Patton chuckled nervously. The side of the cliff he was looking down was taller than the one they climbed. The heat from the lava tickled his whiskers in an unpleasant way. The eerie orange flow glowed hypnotically, making him wish there was another way to reach Roman. He was uneasy, but he dealt with worse. Or he hoped he did. That’s what he would tell himself. 

“There's the bridge we have to cross.” Virgil noted, staring at the most unstable, rickety rope bridge in the world, with old, rotted planks that might give way if a leaf fell on one. And on the other side was an old, decrepit castle that held Prince Roman and a dragon. This quest was making him queasy.

“Oh!” Patton said, looking up, “Well, let's get going. Lord Logan can't wait forever!” He got away from the edge and leapt onto Virgil's shoulder. A free ride across, with less weight in total was the way to go!

“Right.” Virge sighed, trying to keep from vomiting. He approached the bridge, shaking from the nerves. Patton could feel it, and promptly jumped to the ground. Okay, maybe the ride was a bad idea. But he had another one, a brilliant way to show Virgil just how strong the bridge actually was! He was sure the old thing could handle far more than it seemed.

“Don't look down!” Patton called and changed shape again. He was going to be sore and tired by the time they got Roman out, he could feel it.

“Don't look down.” Virge repeated to himself, saying it over and over like a mantra. He kept saying it as he walked across the bridge, the boards creaking under his feet. He heard Patton behind him, which absolutely frayed his nerves.

**_Snap_ **

A board broke under his foot, drawing his eyes to the river below. He couldn't breathe properly.

“Patt, I'm looking down!” he shrieked, “I can't do this! Let me go back!”

“No can do, buddy.” the ogre standing behind him said, “You got this!”

“No I don't! Just move!” he was on the verge of tears. Patton pouted and took a dramatic step forward, rocking the bridge. Virgil scrambled back three feet. Patton had an idea, a reckless impulsive idea.

“Don’t do that!”

“Sorry, Virge,” Patton said, taking yet another step and rocking the bridge, “I need to get across.” Virgil kept scurrying backwards, cursing at Patton. He was shaking, crying, struggling to breathe. Patton kept moving toward him, moving more carefully, but only just so. 

“Asshole! Knock it off! We’re both gonna die!” he screeched and took one last step back, onto solid rock. He made it. Virgil stumbled back and fell to his knees, wheezing. Patton turned into a cat and ran to him. He rubbed up to Virgil’s leg and purred softly, feeling remorseful over his actions.

“We’re on solid ground now, Virge. It’s okay. You did it.”

“Jackass.” Virgil sobbed pathetically. Patton purred louder and nuzzled his anxious friend.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have scared you like that. You have every right to be furious and call me those names. I’m mad at me too—some hero of the people I turned out to be. But I promise, everything is gonna be alright.”

“I–I need a minute.” Virgil huffed weakly. He was starting to feel a little better, mostly due to the feline affection. He could certainly believe without a doubt that Patton favored this form; he was purring at the perfect frequency for the situation. 

“Take as much time as you need.” Patton cooed, “We’ll save your family when you’re ready.”


	9. The Tallest Tower

Virgil managed to calm down. He was sure he was going to murder Patton for that stunt, but after the finished doing what needed to be done. Joan’s puppy dog eyes were still ingrained in the back of his mind and he couldn’t let them down. He got up, pushing Patt Cat aside, and surveyed the area.

There were a few skeletons in armor scattered around the yard, each one singed and partially missing. One a few feet away had an odd, horned helmet, the horns burnt off, and the perfect size armor for a crafty fae.

“What are you doing Virge?” Patton asked as he knelt by the skeleton, taking the helmet first.

“Preparing.” he replied as he carefully shrank his horns as best he could and pulled the helmet on. his horns sprang back to their normal size, locking the headgear in place.

“Is it because of the dragon?” Patt pressed. He was curious. But Virgil refused to answer him, and instead pulled on the rest of the armor. Patton wilted, he deserved the cold shoulder after that stunt he pulled. 

“Let's find a way up to the top of the tower. I am not killing a dragon, or anything for that matter.”

“The top of the tower? Did you read that in your book too?”

“Yeah.” Virge grunted and started toward the castle. Patton bolted past him, the swift kitty had a plan, and it was crazy enough to work!

“I'll go distract the dragon! It'll but you some time and I might make a new friend!” he shouted back, veering to the left. Virgil rolled his eyes, it was plain stupid, but Patton could take care of himself. 

He entered the ruins with a sense of dread. The crumbling walls would have been enough to send him running back home. No, it was worse: piles of ashes peeking from charred armor and orange glowing from the cracks in the floor. The smell of molten silver invading his breath made him dizzy. The tower became even more and more daunting as he neared.

The door at the bottom had long since rotted away, its hinges hanging from the weathered stone. Virgil let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and stepped into the unlit hallway. He didn’t need much light to see the winding staircase.

He climbed

And climbed

An eternity of only a few minutes spent raising his heart rate. Virgil was certain he would never let Joan forget the stress he was dealing with for them. The dark was suffocating, even as a creature of the dark and night. 

Then a beam of light crept through the old roof. He reached the top. All that stood in his way was a crumbling door. He adjusted his helmet and went inside.

* * *

 

He was a cat, who didn’t love cats? Patton roamed the area, scoping out his scaly target. He was behind a chunk of stone when he heard footsteps. Human footsteps. Was that Roman? No, Roman was supposed to be in an enchanted sleep, right? Patton poked his fuzzy little head out from his hiding spot, but no one else was there.

**_Mreeeeeeeeew!_ **

Someone or something picked him up by the scruff. He was forced to face his assailant, and came face to face with the being he was searching for.

“My, my,” the dragon man hummed, “you’re awfully far from home, aren’t you?” Patton mewed and batted his paws at the man’s hat, avoiding his face, half of which was scaly.

“Come,” he said cradling Patton to his chest, “let’s get you out of the ash.” Patton purred, actually quite comfortable in this position. Mr. Dragon-man was warm and surprisingly soft. And the half of his face that wasn’t covered in scales was actually kinda pretty. Maybe this guy would be a new friend.

He carried Patton to a stable part of the castle and went through a newer door. It was cozy with a table and chairs, a hearth, and a bed. But what caught Patt's eye was the wall behind the bed. There was a collection of wanted poster of him. None of them got his nose right, but it sure scared him.

“Easy there kitty, the posters don’t do him justice.” he chuckled and gently brushed the fur that was sticking up on Patton’s haunches so he would relax, “It’s just a flimsy dragon’s hoard.” Patton tilted his head and pawed at his coat. Was the hoard wanted posters or him? He needed answers!

“What? Can’t a dragon live their life? I didn’t choose to be drawn to a dashing rogue for the rest of my short life. I would have preferred collecting tea cups.” Patton whined as the dragon man made his way to the table and sat down. He set one curious kitty on the table and sighed, laying his hands out in front of him. Patton pawed at the yellow glove he wore and cried. He wanted to know more! He kinda liked this guy!

“What? Instead of a legitimate hoard I have something akin to a soulmate. It doesn’t matter. I’m never going to meet him, and if I did he’d run away. That’s what happens to most all of us who aren’t lucky enough to waste our lives with greed.” he sighed, wilting over the table and resting his head on his arm. Patt the Cat sat and stared at him with pity. This poor guy needed a hug! He wasn’t all that scary! He was gentle, introspective, and clearly in need of companionship. Patton did the best thing he could and sat on his hand, meowing and demanding pets.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you the truth, you’re a cat. You would believe the lie just the same, just like that arrogant prince I have to babysit.” the dragon said as he stroked Patton’s fur, “You would not believe the types of people who want to ‘rescue’ him. He’s all that I’ve got and I refuse to let common garbage take him away.” Patton leaned into his strokes, understanding exactly where he was coming from, but also feeling guilty for what he was supposed to do.

* * *

 

The room Virgil entered was like something out of a book. The vines that crept up the walls were so elegant and groomed, and there were vases of fresh roses everywhere, as if there were a gardener who stopped by daily. The light filtering in from a hole in the ceiling landed on a humble bed, its sheer red curtains drawn outlining the shape of the prince. 

Virgil approached him and drew back the curtain. Roman lay there supposedly sleeping with a rose in his hands, peaceful and beautiful, like a dream. Virgil studied his face, looking for any sign that Roman was cursed into his trance. The prince’s lip twitched. Virgil leaned closer, carefully, he didn’t want any surprises. Instead, he figured out Roman was faking it. No one puckers their lips like that in their sleep.

“Get up!’ Virgil hissed, grabbing his shoulders and shaking the prince out of his little charade. Roman’s eyes shot open and he scooted back, glaring at the strange knight hovering over him. Horned helmets were so 10th century! He had armor on, covering a ragged tunic and cloak, and no shoes. This was by far the strangest person he’d ever seen!

“Are you Prince Roman?” Virgil pressed, they didn’t have all the time in the world.

“Why yes, awaiting a knight so bold and noble as to rescue me.” Roman swooned. Virgil rolled his eyes and pulled him to his feet.

“That’s great. Now let’s go!” 


	10. The Great Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a burn injury in this chapter. It's not detailed but it is still present.
> 
>  
> 
> Guess who messed up with posting things in order!

What the—hey!” Roman yelped as Virgil dragged him down the stairs into the darkness, “You’re supposed to sweep me off my feet and carry me out yonder window with a rope onto your valiant steed!” Virgil paused and stared at him in the dim light.

“You had too much time to plan this.” he said, to which Roman nodded cheerfully. Virgil rolled his eyes and pulled Roman along, with the intent of getting out of there.

“Should this not have been a wonderful, romantic meeting?!” Roman gasped, holding his free hand over his heart.

“Sorry, Princey, no time.”

“But we have to savor this moment!” Roman whined. He had no idea what awaited them.

* * *

 

Patton was uncomfortable. It wasn’t the fact that Ethan was petting him in his lair, those pets were like magic. No Ethan was just going on and on about his ‘hoard’ and apologizing for sounding obsessive. He claimed Patton was a hero against tyranny, a clever thief, one of the kindest, bravest, most noble people he ever heard of. Patton was flattered, but he wanted so badly to correct him. Noble? Brave? A hero? He knew from the bottom of his heart he was none of those things.

“...and he’s never let anyone down.” Ethan sighed wistfully.

“Yes he has.” Patton mumbled, not fully aware the words came out of his mouth.

“What was that?” Ethan hissed, his eyes flashing dangerously. He heard exactly what Patton said, but refused to believe that the cat on his table was speaking.

“Um, meow?” Patton squeaked and grinned sheepishly. Ethan's pupils turned to slits. Patton bolted.

* * *

 

“You could recite an epic poem!” Roman argued. Virge kept moving, not paying him any mind.

“A ballad!” he suggested instead since he was not getting a response.

“A sonnet!” he tried again. They were almost at the bottom, taking two stairs at a time.

“A limerick!” he cried out by the time they reached the entrance. He was pissed, no one ignores _the_ Prince Roman! He tore away from Virgil's grasp.

“Or something!” he snapped and stomped his foot.

“I don't think so.” Virgil scoffed and paused, planning the best course of action to escape and find Patton.

“Can I at least know the name of my champion?” Roman hissed.

“Um, Virgil.” he replied, not really focused on Roman.

“Sir Virgil, I pray that you take this favor—” Roman said with a smirk and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, holding it out to Virgil, “—as a token of my gratitude.” Vigil stared at the cloth, took it, and smirked at Roman.

“Thanks!” he said sarcastically and wiped his forehead. The ash and dust from the ruins mixed with his sweat was starting to feel really gross! He handled it back to Roman, who looked offended and repulsed. He was about to scold Virgil when…

**_Screeee_ **

“You didn't slay the dragon!?” he snapped, tired of his entire plan falling apart.

“I don't kill things—now come on!” Virgil growled. He grabbed Roman's wrist and ran. Patton was in trouble!

“But this isn't right! You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying–that’s what all the other knights did!”

“Yeah! Right before they burst into flames!”

“That's not the point!” Roman groaned. He pulled away again when he noticed they were headed in the wrong direction.

“Where are you going? The bridge is over there!”

“I have to protect my puss!” Virge shrugged, slowly moving toward the sounds of angry growls. Roman looked murderous. He crossed his arms and sneered.

“What kind of knight are you!?”

“One of a kind.” Virge said with a two-finger salute and ran. He had to find Patton. He didn't know the way back! Of course, he didn't have to run far.

He wasn't fast enough as a cat. The large yellow lizard was on his tail and breathing fire! Like a fool he shifted into a horse and sped up to save his skin. He spotted Virgil not far away and shouted:

“Jump on! I might have made him angry!” Virge stifled a groan–nice going Patt–and jumped up just in time to land on Patt's back. This was one of those moments he was happy to be a púca.

“Nice one!”

“Less talking more running! Princey's waiting for us!” Virge shouted. Patton didn't need to ask questions, he headed straight to the prince and skidded to a halt in front of a far less irate Roman

“Get on!” Virge ordered as he scrambled to the ground and took a knee. Roman climbed on with his help and situated himself on Patt's back.

“You two head for the bridge. I'll take care of the dragon.” Virgil ordered, getting to his feet.

“But Virge he'll kill you!” Patton argued.

“It talks!” Roman gasped.

“Yeah it's getting him to shut up and listen that's the trick.” Virge growled, “Now go!” Patton relented and hurried to get Roman to safety. Once he was out of sight, Virgil morphed into his natural form—a goat-man. He would need all the strength he could muster, even with the armor now stuck to him, he stood very little chance alone. The dragon approached him, curious but with no intention of sparing him.

Patton thundered across the bridge with Roman clinging to his neck. He was going to go back for Virgil and nothing would stop him. He owed the fae for causing him to panic, and it was the right thing to do.

“I need you to get off and wait here.” Patton said once they were on the other side of the bridge. He knelt down for the prince, who understood completely.

“Stay safe, you noble steed.” Roman praised him and ran a hand down his neck. Patton whinnied appreciatively and charged back into the fray.

_Fire_

_Dodge_

_Flames_

_Evade_

Virgil was constantly moving, trying to make the dragon dizzy. The scent of scorched hair filled his nostrils. A few singed were acceptable, but he was tiring. It was hard to get away from the tornado inferno spilling from the dragon's mouth. He bounced on his hooves and waited for the next blow.

“Virgil!” Patton cried just as the dragon released a blast of fire that spread. Virge would never be able to avoid it!

He slammed into Virgil, knocking him out of the way. He screamed as he was burnt. Virge did the only thing he could think of—he leapt onto the dragon's neck and pulled until the flames went into the sky. Virge glanced at Patton and felt his heart stop.

“Patton!” he shrieked and hurried to him. He was human again, and his face was badly burnt. Virgil fell to his knees beside him, taking on his human form to assess the damage.

“That hurt.” Patton chuckled and winced. It really hurt.

“It's okay buddy, I can fix this.” Virge hushed him and peeked over his shoulder. Somebody stopped attacking and he wanted to know why.

The scaly beast was staring at Patton, wearing the most heartbroken expression in the world. He was backing away like a kicked puppy. Good. It meant Patt would be okay.

“Thanks for not letting me down. You're my hero.” Virge sighed and carefully helped Patton to his feet.

“Don't—don’t be so generous.”

“No more talking until I get you cleaned up.” Virge ordered. Patton could live with that. And he would.


	11. A Little Unorthodox

Roman waited patiently for his rescuer and the talking horse. They had to get down from the cliff and he was not about to risk that alone. He spotted Virgil coming over the bridge with a man leaning on him. Roman guessed that man was the horse—he would expect that considering the cliff!

He spun dramatically on his heels to face the open world and cheered, “You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing! You’re—You’re wonderful!” Virge stumbled onto the solid ground with Patton and fell to his knees.

“You're—You’re a little unorthodox i admit.” he hummed, shutting his eyes to soak up the sun, “But thy deed is great and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.”

“Ow!” Patton complained as Virge removed his ruined glasses. He would find someone to fix it.

“And yours as well, noble steed!” Roman added as an afterthought, “The battle is won! You may remove your helmet good Sir knight.”

“Ahh, no.” Virgil replied as he pulled some of the salve he used before from his bag.

“Why not?”

“I—I’m in the middle of something.” he grunted, trying to uncork the jar.

“Please. I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer.”

“Oh no you wouldn't—est!” Virge deflected, truly struggling with the jar. He was a little on edge.

“But, how will you kiss me?” Roman sighed and stared at the ground. He had no idea how to deal with this rejection. The final part of his ruined plan had to happen!

“What?” Virgil grunted, finally opening the jar, “That wasn't in the job description!”

“Maybe it's a perk!” Patton coughed. Virgil pressed a clawed finger to his lips to silence him.

“No, it's destiny.” Roman groaned, “You must know how it goes! A prince, locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight and then they share true love’s first kiss.” He made sure to make as many bold gestures as possible, but Virgil was preoccupied.

“Wait!” Patton gasped, “You think Virgil is your true love?”

“Well, yes.” Roman scoffed, weary from this charade. 

“Aww!” Patton squealed while Virgil broke into a fit of laughter. It was a crass, irritating sound that made Roman blush, out of embarrassment.

“What is so funny?!”

“Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?” Virge replied once he caught his breath.

“Of course you are!” Roman argued, spinning around to face him, “You're my rescuer! Now remove your helmet.”

“I really don't think this is a good idea.”

“Just take off the helmet.”

“I'm not going to!” Virgil sneered, he had a hurt Patton to tend to and this prince was a distraction he didn't have the patience to deal with. Couldn't Roman see there was something more pressing to focus on?

“Take it off!” 

“No!”

“NOW!” Roman shouted forcefully. Virge and Patt winced. That movement wasn't gonna do any good for poor Patt.

“Okay! Easy! As you command, Your Highness!” Virge bowed his head and shrank his horns. They grew back once the helmet was gone. Roman's eyes went wide. He stumbled back when Virgil smiled awkwardly at him, with his fangs prominent.

“You’re a—a demon.”

“Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?” Virgil spat and immediately scooped some of his salve to coat Patton's face. 

“Well, yes actually.” he huffed and ran a hand through his hair, “No, this is all wrong! You're not supposed to be a demon!”

“Princey, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Lehrer. He's the one who wants to marry you.” Virge explained, paying more attention to Patton. The green goo was already bonding to his skin.

“Well why didn't he come and rescue me?”

Good question!” Virgil jeered, “You should ask him that when we get there!”

“But I have to be rescued by my true love, not some demon and his drudge!” Roman said. Virgil opened his mouth to retort, but Patton spoke up first:

“So much for 'noble steed!’” 

“Look, Princey, you're not making my job any easier.” Virge grunted and wiped the mess off his hands on his shirt tails.

“Your  _ job _ is not my problem. Tell Lord Lehrer, if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here!” Roman huffed and sat on the ground like a bratty child.

“I'm not a messenger boy, but fine. Stay here. The dragon is still alive and that bridge is still standing.” Virge shrugged and slipped out of the armor he borrowed. Roman went pale and stood. Virge paid him no mind.

“Patton, I hate to do this, but I have to carry you down.” Virge said as he helped Patton sit up. It was heartbreaking to see him so hurt. The right side of his face was covered in the green goo and the half-smile on the left side only twisted Virgil’s guts more.

“It’s okay. The nightmares aren’t so bad.”

“Thank you.” Virgil breathed and became the goat-man again. He cradled Patton to his chest and rose to his full height. There was nothing quite as terrifying as a six-and-a-half foot tall dark fairy, but that didn’t keep Patton from snuggling into his chest. A terrible idea, really. 

Virgil glanced around, noting that Roman was nowhere to be seen. If he ran back to the dragon’s keep, well that was all on him wasn’t it? Virgil wouldn’t go back there for anything, not for Joan’s pouty face, not after what just occurred. He held Patton close and climbed down slowly, using whatever instincts he had to guide him. He refused to let Patton get hurt because of him, again.

The ground had never been more welcoming. The nauseating scent of silver was gone, and Patton was out of harm’s way. He was slipping into a nightmare, but he was physically safe.

“So you’re a fairy.” Roman mused, leaning against a rock not far away. Virgil’s head snapped in the direction of the sound and his jaw dropped, revealing all of his pointed teeth.

“Don’t act surprised. I’m not some unread commoner!”

“No, I mean, what are you doing down here? How are you down here?”

“I don’t want to go back to that place. That serpent was such a nightmare!” Roman explained. It was pretty obvious to both of them how he got down–the only way possible!

“Are you coming with us?” Virgil asked, “Last I checked, you’re eternally in my debt.” He was not above using the prince's words against him. 

“I did say that,” Roman pouted, “and I am bound by my honor.”

“Then let's go, he needs shelter.” Virgil stated firmly and headed back toward Sandrose. Roman adjusted the white gold crown on his head and followed begrudgingly. Stupid honor system!


	12. Sanity

“So what exactly is a púca doing serving a vassal?” Roman asked as they walked across the barren expanse toward greener pastures. He didn't really care, but he needed a distraction from the miserable whimpers coming from Patton. They were clearly bothering Virgil as well.

“It's not like that.” Virge scoffed and adjusted the poor wanted man in his arms, his human arms. It was easier to walk upright without hooves. But his fingers ended in claws, and his eyes were purple instead of a less magical color.

“Then what is it like, Bittering Ram?” Roman sneered childishly and pressed forward.

“It's a deal. I do something for him, he does something for me.” Virge grunted. He had no intention of opening up to a spoiled brat.

“I don't need an explanation. I know what a deal is. Elaborate.” Roman ordered, glancing over his shoulder at the rag-tag duo.

“Maybe if you ask nicely, I'll say more, but don't count on it, Ro.” Virgil sneered. _Prince_ Roman froze on the spot, and fixed a lethal gaze upon the fae.

“What did you just call me?” he growled. He had a title and no one dared forget it!

“Ngh—No! Lo–Logan!” Patton cried and clinged to Virgil's shirt desperately. Virgil's eyes went wide. He heard right.

“You need to carry him.”

“What?! Are you kidding me?! No!” Roman snapped and crossed his arms, his gaze avoiding the disgusted glare on Virgil's face. He did spot something in the distance that could be useful.

“He’s hurt and he's not strong enough to handle the nightmare I'm putting him through! He'll go insane if I carry him much longer!”

“Will he make it to the old farm in your arms?” Roman questioned, pointing to the building. Virge growled under his breath. I was about a ten minute run as a horse, or a thirty minute walk. If he were going to guess, Virgil believed it would take fifteen more minutes before Patton lost touch with reality.

“Get on.” Virge brought Patton around his back and transformed. The dark stallion with a flowing mane and glowing purple eyes stared at the prince. Roman was in awe—how could such a crass and callus creature turn into such a dazzling beauty? It was unfair.

“If you knock me off it will be your head.” Roman grumbled and with a running start, leapt onto Virgil, slamming into his side and clawing at his back. Virgil winced, trying not to complain as he fumbled and kicked his way to the top and sat down.

“You good there?” Virge hissed, certain that he would bruise. Roman said nothing. He cradled Patton so he wouldn't fall and grabbed a fistful of Virge's mane. He pressed his heels into Virgil's sides, expecting a fast trot.

“You are so lucky I understand human horse riding techniques.” Virge mumbled before breaking into a full gallop. Roman lurched back, grateful for having enough sense to hold onto something—something incredibly soft that had no right to be so silky.

“No—No!—I didn't—I–I–it’s always—yours, it's yours!” Patton cried, clawing Roman's arm. His eyes shot open and went wide for a moment, and he shrieked at the sight of the prince before falling back into his trance. He wasn't this awful with Virgil! Rude!

“Oh shit! Hold on!” Virge shouted. He had less time than he thought! He ran faster than he ever had before, kicking up a cloud of dust behind his thundering hooves. He ran faster than the time Joan and Talyn pissed off that moose—faster than the time his grandmother brought home a nice girl she wanted him to marry. He didn't care that Roman was practically tearing his hair out. Patton, the man who saved his life, was not going to pay dearly for his kindness. Not today!

The farmhouse came into view first. It was in decent shape, with only a few creeping vines crawling up the sides and onto the porch. The garden around it was overgrown, wild with weeds, and thriving. It was a good place to slow down and get Patton to safety.

“Where do I put him down?” Virgil mumbled to himself, scanning the area.

“There’s a bench on the porch, you blind night mare.” Roman mused irately. Virgil transformed into a semi-human, and cradled Patton in his arms. Roman squawked when he hit the ground with and unceremonious thud.

“I’m a stallion, in case you haven’t noticed.” Virgil spat and took his precious hero to the bench Roman so graciously pointed out. He paid no attention to the offended nonsense spilling from the prince's lips as he laid Patton down, prying Patt’s arms from his shirt.

“No! Virgil! No!” Patton whined when he was situated properly, still trapped in his mind.

“I’m right here, Patt.” Virgil whispered, “I’m not leaving you.”

“If you two are quite finished, I’ll be leaving now.” Roman sneered, sticking his royal nose in the air. Virgil shot him a bored and incredulous look.

“Sure, wander into the woods without knowing where the nearest village is. There’s absolutely _nothing_ in there that would harm a loud-mouth diva, like you. And apparently your honor isn’t as important as you say–you’re in my eternal debt, right? Pretty dishonorable to walk away from your commitments.”

“Joder…1” the prince snarled and glared at the ground. Stupid púca peasant using his word against him, he deserved a life full of adventure free from the bounds of a bossy babysitter! He regretted announcing his debt to both Virgil and Patton. He kicked the grass at his feet and fumed.

“Complain all you want, you’re unarmed and there are robbers in the woods. The best chance you have is sticking with us.” Virge deadpanned, “Patton’s got combat training, and I’m a scary ‘demon’ with a bitter attitude.”

“Bitter!? BITTER!?” Roman snapped and snapped his gaze onto the unamused Virgil, “Bitter does not eve begin to describe the misery you exhibit! A rotten lemon is sweeter than you!”

“Bold words about a guy you just met.”

“And am I mistaken?! I think not!”

“Go ahead, get trampled by a rhino, go ahead, get mugged and left for dead. You’re the only one stopping you, _Prince_ Roman. You and what common sense you have.”

“And thou sayeth I am the one making bold claims about a stranger!”

“Am I wrong to assume you have common sense?”

Roman growled and marched past him, going into the house. Virge shook his head and sighed. This was going to be one long journey.

“Virge?” Patton whimpered. Virgil glanced down at him and smiled. Patton was awake, earlier than expected, but awake.

“Welcome back buddy.”

“Is this real?”

“Yeah. This place is real, I'm real.”

“So you were really bickering with Prince Roman?”

“Yup.”

“And there's another púca nearby?”

“No?”

“I guess it was just a part of those terrible dreams.”

“Yeah. I'm the only nightmare here.”

“You are not a nightmare! You are a talented healer who fended off a dragon, rescued a prince, and saved my face.”

“It's not saved yet. I have to brew something to keep it from scaring. You rest and I'll scour the garden. Princey's inside, so just shout if you need anything.”

“I need a hug.” Patton pouted. Virge huffed affectionately and carefully wrapped his arms around him. It was the least he could do and Patton's hugs were warm. Patton was warm and safe and alive and sane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 it's the fuck word....


	13. Stars

Sandrose was always so vibrant in the late spring. Logan was happy to dine on his balcony, admiring the beauty of nature. That beauty also included the guard captain seated across from him. Remy Traum was possibly the best man working under him, despite his attitude.

The guard was a new addition to his world, but that didn’t matter. To Logan, it was a companionship that might as well have sprouted from childhood. Remy was his most trusted friend, an advisor, a person he was amazed he lived without for the first part of his life. If he were being honest with himself, Logan would admit that his feelings were stronger than that. He got butterflies every time Remy smiled at him, every time he laughed. He could admire the way his tawny eyes lit up when they passed a minstrel for ages. The way even the lightest blush stained his pallid face bright red made Logan’s heart race. If he were honest, he would admit there was a fatal flaw in his plan.

“Are you quite certain you are unavailable this evening?” Logan asked, “It’s the perfect night to study the stars.”

“Babe, I told you, I have plans.” Remy chuckled, flipping his auburn hair out of his face.

“You say that every night.”

“Well it’s not a lie.” Remy mused and took a sip of his drink, “And that is like your ideal date.”

“Yes, well,” Logan averted his gaze, “I doubt that I’ll get another opportunity like this.”

“But, you are definitely gonna marry Roman?” Remy asked, pushing his potatoes around on his plate. Logan eyed him thoughtfully, not to admire the late afternoon sun hitting his face just so, though it was tempting.

“Yes. It’s for the good of Sandrose.” Logan replied wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You know I have to do what is best for the kingdom, even if I don’t particularly like it.”

“Lolo, for the past five years I’ve known you, you’ve never been such a stick in the mud.” Remy scoffed, “‘It’s for the good of the kingdom?’ Babe, it’s not good for you!”

“My benefit in this will be the library, and it will benefit everyone else.”

“You can build it without marrying someone you don't love. I get, like, not wanting to wait, but you matter too.” Remy huffed. It was written on his furrowed brow, a question that he wouldn’t dare ask aloud: “Do my feelings matter to you?”

“While I’m not disagreeing with you, I have evidence to support that ‘good for me’ doesn’t do any good.” Logan mused and set his fork down. He was losing his appetite.

“Logan, listen to yourself. I’m right here and not going away! Do you really think that everyone you care about will leave you like Patton if they get too close? Do you think I’m Patton 2.0?”

“Don’t you dare bring him up!” Logan slammed his splayed palms on either side of his plate.

“Oh you wanna get mad at me for telling the truth! That's the tea, honey, and you better believe it if it burns!”

“That is enough! I will not alter my decision! Remember that you are my guard captain, not my advisor, don't overstep your bounds, Remy!”

“My bounds? Oh no, you did not just try that shit, girl! You have no idea what my bounds are, Logan!” Remy shot to his feet, knocking the table as he did so.

“And apparently neither do you!” Logan snapped. Remy sneered and spin on his heels.

“No ma'am! No ma'am! I am done with this. I am done! There’s a new band playing at the tavern tonight, and when I see you tomorrow, you had better have done some soul searching, because this is ridic!” He stormed off, leaving Logan alone to watch the sunset.

* * *

 

“How do you feel, Patton?” Virgil asked as he carefully poured a warm pink liquid over the salve still coating half of Patton’s face. It was dumb luck that the original farmers left their pots and pans behind. It meant Patton wouldn’t have to suffer any more than he had to.

“It tickles!” he giggled, trying to stay still.

“It won’t for long. It should start to feel like it’s burning pretty soon. I promise it won’t last more than five minutes.” Virgil replied, setting the pot he was holding on the porch.

“Ooh—Yep! I can feel that burn now!” Patton winced. Virgil helped him to his feet and guided him to a clearer patch of grass.

“Keep your eyes on the stars, the moonlight will make things easier.” he said, making Patton sit with him on the ground. Patton laughed and laid back, heeding his healer’s advice.

“I don’t get it, you’re so kind and gentle, how could anyone think of you as a monster!”

“I scare people, for fun. Patt, I’m not kind and gentle.” Virge groaned and joined him in watching the sky.

“You are kind! You have to be kind to become a healer of all things! It might not show all the time, but it’s there.” Patt argued and pointed to the sky, “You see those stars that make a triangle? That’s Alex the Vigilant. He was the one who saved the world by mending a dragon’s broken heart, like the literal heart. He only found the dragon by accident after he was kicked out of his village for his attitude.”

“You mean the Padig constellation?”

“Uh I guess so. I didn't realize it had another name.”

“Yeah, Padig is the Sídhe King who built the barrier between humans and fae with his spit and a few oak leaves, like 20,000 years ago. His daughter ran off with a milkmaid, her true love. She got her wings the second their lips touched only to give them up, along with her entire family. Padig was heartbroken. He didn't want anyone to suffer the same way."

“Barrier? But there’s no barrier now.”

“Yup,” Virge hummed and pointed to a different set of stars nearby, “That’s because Morgan here destroyed it with a kettle. Supposedly they were in love with a human and got tired of the ancient separation. But by the time the barrier broke, their love had died in a mining accident.”

“Oh no.”

“They were warped by grief and became a cold beast who would spend the rest of their life guarding the cave where that human died.”

“That’s awful,” Patton said sadly, “To lose everything when it was almost in your grasp, and then to be unable to move on.”

“Yeah. Do you have a story to go with that constellation?”

“Yup! That’s Roya and Philomena, the princess and the pauper. You know that story?”

“It’s a classic. I wonder if it really happened.”

“It’s possible.” Patton shrugged, as a comfortable silence drifted in. The crickets chirping in the background were the only thing cutting the still cool night.

“Do you think we’ll be able to just hangout under the stars like this all the time once we save the fae?”

“No. As soon as this is over I’m going back to the way I lived before, completely alone, and I’m setting up my own barrier.”

“Completely alone? That hurts, Virge, that cuts real deep.” Patt said, rolling onto his side, “You know what I think, I think this barrier is already in place, you just want it to be bigger.”

“No, you think?” Virgil scoffed sarcastically.

“Are you hiding something?”

“Never mind Patton.” he brushed him off and sat up, ignoring the fireflies that were drawn to his horns.

“Oh, is this another one of those layers things?”

“No, this is one of those drop it and leave it alone things.”

“Why don’t you want to talk about it?”

“Why do you want to talk about it?”

“Because you’re blocking, and it’s not good to bottle your feelings.”

“I’m not blocking!”

“Yes you are!

“Patton I’m warning you—” Virgil snarled

“Who are you trying to keep out, just tell me that!” Patton demanded, sitting up. Virgil clawed his hair and gritted his teeth. He wouldn’t get any angrier. He wouldn’t snap. He failed miserably.

“Everyone!” he shouted, scaring away the fireflies. Patton smiled and nodded.

“Now we’re getting somewhere!”

“Oh brother!” Virgil groaned and ran a hand down his face. Neither one noticed the farmhouse door opening a sliver.

“What do you have against the world anyway?”

“I’m not the one with the problem, it’s the world that has a problem with me. People take one look at me and say, ‘Ahhh! Help! Run! A scary wicked demon!’ Most fae get one look at me and think, ‘Eek an evil púca bent on causing or creating nightmares! Don’t look at it!’” Virge ranted, then deflated and sighed, “They judge me before they even know me. That’s why I’m better off alone.”

“You know what,” Patton said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, not noticing the door silently closing, “when we met, I didn’t think you were a demon or evil.”

“I know.” Virgil relented, trailing off.

“So, uh, the burning stopped. Can I wipe this stuff off now?” Patton asked, motioning to the goo on his face.

“Sure thing, bud. Let’s get you cleaned up. And then you can tell me more about your constellations.” Virge said with a half-smile. Maybe he’d make an exception for Patton when he cast the barrier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me adding a little LoSleep drama:  
> 


	14. Morning

Roman woke up with the dawn and stepped outside. The fresh air was a relief after spending the night in that stuffy old farmhouse--who forgoes adding necessary ventilation in the bedrooms? He didn’t have to wonder why they left (thinking of any other scenario would be too morbid for the morning!)

With the sun sparkling on the dewy flora, he crept off the porch and around the pair fast asleep in the grass. The outcropping of trees not far away was calling to him. The morning birds chirping so beautifully were like a magnet.

He hummed a few bars before he entered the mini woods, unable to contain the notes that yearned to be belted from his throat. Skipping and weaving through the trees he sang, words forgotten in place of free sounds.

Squirrels arose from their rest to greet him. The birds swooped down and landed on his shoulders, entranced by his voice. That's when he saw her.

A mother bird stared at him expectantly from her nest, cocking her head to the side. He bowed politely, causing the other fabulous fowls to flutter off. Pleased, she sang a simple melody.

What good prince doesn't return the favor? Roman sang the same thing back, higher than she expected. So she repeated herself, trying to reach higher than him.

Roman took it as a challenge, subconsciously, copying her and holding the final note. His voice rose and rose, until his song became a horrific shriek. He could feel his teeth growing sharper as a pang swept through his jaw, he had to shut his eyes, fearing they would become as colorless and dark as the night that was leaving them.

When he opened them, the mother bird was gone, never to return. He stared at the nest of eggs she left behind and pouted. He was guilty of ruining their future, perhaps he could find a way to keep from wasting them.

* * *

 

Virgil awoke to the smell of eggs and toast. Rising from the grass, he could see the farmhouse door was open, and Roman was standing by the stove, cooking. He shook any stray leaves and grass from his hair, and wiped a bit of dirt from his horns, regretting not changing into a horse once Patton passed out. Patton was still asleep, which was as strange as the prince cooking. He needed to fix it.

“Patt,” Virgil whispered, nudging him with his foot, “Wake up!”

“Mmmm, no, tired.” he grumbled and rolled over, putting his newly healed face on display.

“Patton!” Virgil whined, “C’mon! You know it's bad when the nocturnal guy wakes up first!”

“Mrrrmph!” Patton whined and rolled over yet again. Virgil growled and grabbed his arm. He pulled with all his might, but it was about as effective as if he were trying to lift and wake a hibernating bear. Impossible and frustrating.

While he was enjoying watching Virgil struggle, Roman was finished cooking and he refused to let his work go to waste. He cleared his throat loudly, hoping to get their attention. No dice. Plan B!

“Breakfast!” he called, getting Virgil to let go of Patton. And not a moment too soon.

“Breakfast!?” Patton cheered and leapt to his feet, leaving his fatigue where it lay. The gust of wind that followed him as he ran–yes, ran–toward the house was strong enough to blow Virgil's bangs from his forehead. But he didn't go inside.

“Thank you so much, Prince Roman!” he squealed and crushed the unsuspecting royal in a bear hug. Virgil approached warily, convinced that Patton was a bear in every sense of the word.

“What’s this?” he asked skeptically. Roman wormed his way out of Patton’s grasp before trying to respond.

He shrugged and simply said, “I thought I’d do something nice. You _did_ rescue me.”

“Uh, thanks.” Virge said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, “I didn’t expect you’d be nice to us–well, me–not after I dropped you on your ass and held your honor over your head like a guillotine.”

“The situation was incredibly complicated, there were many factors at stake, perhaps we got off on the wrong foot, and I’m willing to make amends and try again.” the prince answered with a smirk. He was difficult to read, or maybe Virgil was too groggy to read him properly. Most likely the latter, because he didn’t see Patton skip into the house, and he was taking in the prince’s features in depth.

It was strange to see the entire red spectrum in one man’s hair, hiding only to be seen in the sunlight. It was stranger to look in those tawny eyes and see a ring of brown around the edges. The strangest thing was his complexion; incredibly pale, as if he had never seen the sun–it didn’t suit him, but he was still ungodly pretty, especially with that embarrassed blush staining his cheeks. Wait...

“I am a reasonable man, I award second chances to most–don’t be so surprised!” Roman huffed and averted his gaze. Virgil crossed his arms and shook his head. Even when apologizing he was a brat.

“Oh my god!” Patton shouted from the kitchen, “This is delicious Your Highness! Virge you gotta try this!”

“Thank you Patton, I try!” Roman called over his shoulder, then returned his attention to Virgil.

“He healed up quickly.”

“Herbalism and magic does that.” Virgil shrugged, “It was an easy fix, anyone could have done it.” Virge responded sheepishly and rubbed the tip of his horn with his forefinger and thumb. Roman crossed his arms and pouted.

“And anyone could have made breakfast, but you don't see me brushing off compliments so easily, no matter how hard they are to accept.”

“What?”

“I can't cook. Patton is either starving or generous. Now go eat so we can get going. I have to meet this Lord Logan, don't I?” Roman said, completely exasperated but in good spirits. Virgil rolled his eyes. Roman was more than he bargained for, but at least he was going to go to Sandrose with them.


	15. In a Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: bad puns and adult humor ahead

“So you were stuck in the tower for a while,” Patton mused as he trotted beside Virgil. Roman, who was on his back, groaned in response.

“The past five years have been insufferable!” he said, running a hand down his face. He was in a lush forest, free from the dingy, dark, dangerous ruins–they were the last thing he wanted to think about.

“I was wondering about the dragon, I saw him as a human and I was curious, what is he like?” Patt continued, “I kinda thought he would be a total ass.”

“Old Snake-face? No, not entirely. He was always avoiding my questions, never telling me anything about the world. But he was very kind. He fed me, kept me company, watched my performances. He told me all about you, though.”

“Oh?” Patton asked, craning his neck to look at the prince, if only for a second. Always watch your step in a forest.

“He said you were a little shit, the bane of the upper class, and too generous for your own good, and a complete disaster. He's very fond of you.” 

“Oh.” Patton pouted. That description sounded anything but fond. 

“That sounds accurate to me.” the black stallion next to him mused.

“Virgil!” Patt whined.

“What? You are a thief and you rob the rich. And how many people know the true face of Puss in Boots?” he jeered.

“Four, including Joan and they don't know what a cat-astrophy I am.” 

“Exactly. The guy who almost killed you has you pegged.” Virgil teased, watching his step as they neared an area full of matted roots and underbrush. Roman cleared his throat to get their attention, but safety comes first!

“Pegged? I don't know him well enough for that!” Patt replied innocently. Virgil raised an eyebrow at him. Did he just say that? Did he know what he implied?

“Excuse me?!” Roman gasped. He had a few questions, and he was not about to be ignored.

“What?” Patton smirked, “He shouldn't know me that well, he can't have me pegged.”

“You really are a little shit.” Virgil commented, “Be careful with how you say things in front of the prince.”

“I'm not a delicate flower!” Roman snapped.

“Don’t you have minimum a level of decency you have to be bubbled in?”

“The only bubble I need to maintain is my bubble butt, thank you very much!” Roman huffed and crossed his arms. Virgil’s ears turned back stiffly, irately 

“There’s no need to exaggerate everything.”

“Oh, it’s not an exaggeration, Virge! His butt is really cushy!” Patton laughed. Virgil sucked in a breath to retort, asking how he would know that, when he remembered the prince was on his back. For hours. He lowered his neck and sighed. These two were too much.

“Don’t worry Virge, you have a great butt too!”

“PATTON!” Virgil shrieked, “You don’t just say that!”

“So you’d rather he lie?” Roman teased. Patton was giggling like a little kid who got to say a bad word one too many times. Butt...

“I’d rather you both shut up!” he snarled. 

“Well I’d rather know who this Joan is, but that’s not happening now is it?”

“They’re my best friend, them and Talyn.”

“You have  _ three _ friends? I’m surprised.”

“Is that because you think all púcaí hate people and are insufferably bitter, or just me?”

“I won’t deny you are, but aren’t púcaí loners? The rogues of the fae who create hellscapes for the fools who journey with them?”

“I take it you consider this a hellscape more than an escape.” Virgil scoffed.

“Easy there, kiddos,” Patton cut in, taking on a more fatherly tone, “let's be nice. Roman, you should know that is an unfair stereotype. Virge, don't feed into that, you know you're more than just a grumpy goat who likes to have personal space.”

“A grumpy goat?”

“Yup! I personally think you just need a good nap and then we'll get to meet the sarcastic badass I think you are!” Patton cheered, making Roman roll his eyes.

“While I don't necessarily disagree, I only really slept well last night, why would you assume that?” Virgil asked, trying to contain his amusement and failing. He was perpetually tired, and he was sure Patton was on to something—he couldn’t be nearly as irritable and snarky after a decent rest. His senses would be even sharper too, something he needed dearly in a strange forest. 

**_BAM_ **

“Unhand me!” Roman screeched as he was gracefully snatched off of Patton’s back by a mysterious, rope-swinging, person. He was obviously a siabhra, a changeling of sorts, with his magenta hair and unnaturally mustardy complexion. Virgil and Patton immediately dropped their horse guises and prepared for a fight. There was a protective anger in Patton’s eyes as he drew his sword. This couldn’t have been the first changeling he encountered.

“Hey! That’s my royal pain!” Virgil shouted at the changeling, now perched on a tall branch with Roman standing by him.

“Uh, no. Piss off, Horny!”

“Listen you, I don’t know who you think you are—” Roman snarled, jabbing him in the chest with his finger. 

“Oh crap, right. I am Percy Bleu, and I’m here to save you from the source of all nightmares.”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so. You see he is my prisoner. Is it safe to assume you have no idea who I am?—Of course you don’t.—I am Prince Romano of the Southern Isles. You will unhand me this instant Percival, or I will ensure a swift and ruthless punishment befalls you and your family. My father will hear about this, that much is certain. So choose your next words wisely.” Roman ranted. Patton groaned and shook his head. He and Virgil both knew how stupid it was to give a fae your full name and title. So did Percy, the wickedly smirking tool.

“Well Prince Romano of the Southern Isles, I’m afraid you will be joining me, so come along.” he hummed and started walking toward the trunk, only to find the prince was in the same spot. He was staring Percy down with venom in his gaze and his arms crossed. He tapped his foot irately and scowled.

“Did you not hear me. Let’s go Prince Romano of the Southern Isles!” Percy snarled.

“Percival Flavio Magenta Bleu, you don’t get to order me around.” Roman smirked, absolutely adoring the horror that crossed Percy’s face, “No I’m afraid it’s the other way around. Now you will return me to my prisoner so I may take him to face justice. And you will tell me the fastest route to Sandrose. You're bound to do so. Sorry to ruin your little kidnapping scheme, even though I'm not.” Percy sneered childishly and carried Roman to the ground. Virge and Patt were stunned.

“Thank you,” Roman said once his feet hit the ground, “Now about Sandrose, tell me the fastest route with the least amount of trouble.”

“The fork in the road up ahead, take the left path. Then when you see an old well with stars painted on it, take the right path.”

“Did you get all that Patton?” Roman called over his shoulder. Patton nodded dumbly and sheathed his sword. Roman was smug and pulled a paper out of his pocket, handing it to Percy.

“You would do well to practice your calligraphy with a different set of words. Anyone could snatch that and control you.” he said, only amplifying Percy's bitterness, “Now go away and never bother me again.”

With a robotical hiss, the changeling disappeared in a puff of yellow, magenta, and cyan smoke. Roman's work here was done.

“Shall we?” 

“Hold the phone!” Virge uttered, taken off guard, “Where the hell did you learn to do that? That was way too cool for a guy locked in a tower for years.”

“When one lives with a dragon, one has to master the art of stealth.” Roman replied, averting his gaze to hide a flattered blush. Praise, coming from Virgil? And he was certain it was praise—he didn't know how to handle it.

“That was amazing!” Patton squealed, “I had no idea you were so smooth and suave! Like my favorite shampoo!”

“Patton, no.” Virgil groaned.

“Patton, yes!”

“When you two are quite finished, let's go. I'm tired of these delays!”

“You and Virge can take an adult nap and I can carry you for a while. You should sleep if you're tired ”

“Patton, you don't have to—” Virgil began, only to be cut off by the thief.

“No, you are definitely taking a nap, little mister!”

“I can walk for a while if need be, so do listen to the man with the sword.” Roman added. That was Patton's cue to turn into a horse again and kneel down.

“Both of you hop on!” Patton ordered, “It's the easiest way to stick together, and I won't have to worry about dropping Virge when he falls asleep.”

“Fine,” Virge grumbled as he climbed on, “but don't expect me to be able to sleep.” Roman immediately followed, not one to turn down generosity. Once situated, Patton rose and set off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Percy, aka Printer guy from the TS shorts makes a cameo! Woo!  
> Percival Flavio Magenta Bleu—literally he's Percy Yellow Magenta Blue. I couldn't resist ok 
> 
> -Yup, fae rules apply. Never give one your full name or else be bound to their will.


	16. Deviation

Virgil had drifted off some time ago. Roman cradled him to keep him from falling off, surprised by how warm he was, and how nice he smelled. It was more than merely comfortable, and that confused Roman. 

“Hey, Princey, do you want to set up camp tonight?” Patton pulled him from his thoughts. They had just gotten to the edge of the woods, past the well Percy mentioned, and were coming up to a system of caves they were supposed to pass. He could see why Patton would ask.

“Getting tired?”

“Yes and no.” Patton said, tilting his head, “I know the myth, your curse. It must be embarrassing to change against your will into a monster every night.”

“My curse?” Roman asked, gnawing at his lip.

“‘By night one way, by day another, this shall be the norm, until you find true love’s first kiss, and then take love’s true form.’” Patton recited the poem perfectly.

“Oh, yes, that curse.” Roman sighed, subconsciously pulling Virgil closer to him like a teddy bear.

“Is there another curse?”

“There's only the one. I don't enjoy discussing it.” Roman groaned, biting his lip harder, “How did you know that?”

“When you're on the run, you hear some great stories.” Patton whinnied. 

“Have any good ones?” Roman hummed, “I would love some entertainment by the campfire.”

“Sure do! I'm glad you trust us enough to hang out after your transformation!”

“Oh, right. It's not an every night thing. Only on Fridays.”

“Huh? Weird. Is it a fairy curse?”

“Something along those lines, yes.” Roman shrugged and flipped a lock of hair from his eyes. Patton let it slide, it wasn't like he was going to press Roman for details! He had a cave to reach, and a more important question,

“Is he still asleep?” Patt questioned. Roman glanced down at the sleeping fae curled up against him. That was the perfect time for Virgil to whimper and cuddle closer to him. He twisted and clung to Roman's shirt. Princey's face matched his sash.

“He’s still asleep!” Roman squeaked. Patton chuckled and shook his head. He could tell there was something there that wasn't there before.

“Aww! I hope he's having a good dream!” he laughed. Roman glanced at Virgil, as peaceful and calm as could be, and agreed, wondering what was going on in his head.

* * *

 

Virgil had no idea how he got himself into his grandmother's village. Nothing had changed since he left, and that was not a comfort. The old tree-cottage was still just as tacky with toadstools growing from the facade and the front flower garden in bloom. The other homes around were far less extravagant, no toadstools and no flowers. Just drawn curtains. Typical.

He walked down the path from his grandmother's home toward the edge of the village. He was going to see Joan and Talyn, as usual, but there was something that felt off.  He couldn't quite place it, it was like he was being watched, but not in the usual way. Usually the rest of the village would watch him warily, expecting some sort of trouble. These eyes felt curious.

“Stop!” a cat standing on its hind legs shouted as it tumbled in from the trees. He was a funny creature, wearing tall black boots and a feathered hat. What wasn't funny was his sword, drawn and pointed at Virgil's throat.

“Can I help you?” Virgil scoffed, putting his hands up in surrender.

“Name the man you saved.” the cat ordered in a voice he didn't recognize.

“Patton.”

“So it is you!” he cheered and sheathed his sword, “You gotta be extra careful in the dreamscape!”

“So I'm dreaming?” Virge guessed.

“Yep!”

“Great, so why haven't you attacked me yet?”

“Because you saved my life. Why would I want to hurt you?”

“Patton?!”

“Yup!” Patt the Cat giggled, “I guess you don't recognize my real voice! It's not as mysterious as my horrible Antonio Banderas impression!”

“Not at all.” Virge scoffed teasingly then frowned, “So you aren't going to be the source of pain this time?”

“Nope! This is no nightmare! Do you have them a lot? Is that why you don't get enough sleep?”

“Yeah... I fall victim to my own curse. Lucky me.”

“I wonder why you're not having a bad dream now?”

“You say that like it isn't a bad dream.” Virge jeered, earning a pout from one cute kitty. 

“I was just kidding. I guess it's because I'm with you. Having my friends around makes them less horrible.”

“Well you should keep me around!—Hey look! It's Roman!” Patt gasped, pointing behind Virgil. Virgil glanced over his shoulder and went rigid. Roman waltzed out from the trees as if he hadn’t suddenly materialized, glowing like some kind of immaculate forest god. His perfectly coiffed auburn hair glinted in the filtered light. The prince had to slay, even in someone else’s dream. Virgil did not appreciate it, or the funny warmth blooming across his face.

“There you are, my dark knight!” Roman cooed and sauntered over with a coy air of confidence that made Virgil’s stomach flip, “And greetings Patton!”

“Heya Ro! I found the real Virge! You want me to give you two some privacy?”

“Por favorcito.1” Roman cooed, fluttering his lashes innocently. Virgil turned his attention to Patton, only to find he was gone.

“Mi querido2,” Roman said, tapping his shoulder. Virgil spun around on his heels and came nose to nose with the Prince. He could smell roses and vanilla instantly, as if Roman had just rolled in them.

“Princey…”

“Eres mi rescatador, mereces una recompensa.3” Roman breathed, leaning closer and fluttering his eyes shut. Virgil's body went cold and everything faded to black...

* * *

 

“So what you’re saying is, you basically became their father for a day. I might start calling you Padre.” Roman chuckled over the sound of the campfire. Virgil awoke with his weight leaning against a log.

“Please do!” Patton giggled and purred like motorboat. He was curled up on Roman’s lap as a cat, keeping warm and getting pets. 

“Ugh, what happened?” Virgil grunted and sat up.

“Virgil! You're awake!” Patton cheered, making no attempt to move from his comfy perch.

“You fell asleep, Witch Doctor, we set up camp for the night.” Roman added. So much for suave Prince Charming. It reminded Virge to check his bag and pockets. Roman didn't pickpocket him while he slept. Good.

“How did you sleep, by the way?” Roman asked with a strange look in his eyes.

“Okay, I guess.”

“You were awful cuddly with Prince Roman.” Patton commented, “Were you dreaming about a special someone?”

“Something like that.” Virgil mumbled. The whirlpool of thoughts and emotions behind golden stained glass across from him made Virge wonder what the prince was thinking. He had questions too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 - "pretty please"  
> 2 - "my darling"  
> 3 - "You're my rescuer, you deserve a reward."
> 
>  
> 
> _Alternate Title: Weak Link_


	17. Butterflies

Leaving the forest was one of the most refreshing things—Patton sure thought that. He was thrilled to scamper through the grass with his paws kneading the earth. He didn't have to carry anyone, he was having fun, there was nothing quite like being feline! He was sure that everybody wanted to be a cat!

Virgil kept an eye on him, to be sure not to lose him. Roman walked beside him, studying him. He was certainly not what the prince expected when he was rescued, and he was starting to seem less and less like the evil dark fairies púcaí were known to be. The fact he could heal Patton and did should have completely changed his mind, but it wasn't quite enough. No it took the fae curling up to him, sleeping peacefully to incite a change. 

“Hey Virge, watch this!” Patton shouted as he eyed a lily with a butterfly on it. He crouched, kneading the earth, ready to pounce. Virge lazily looked in his direction. He went rigid.

“Patt NO!” he shouted and raced to the foolish feline. It was too late. Patton pounced, carefully capturing the butterfly between his lips and landed gracefully without touching the flower. His proud smile fell as soon as he saw Virgil's furious scowl.

“Lilies are poisonous to cats! What were you thinking!?” he yelled, like a terrified parent. Patt released the butterfly and pouted.

“I wasn't. Sorry for scaring you Virge.” Patt apologized sheepishly. The newly freed butterfly fluttered about and landed on Virgil's horn.

“Just be aware, alright.” Virge groaned and ran a hand down his face. Patton nodded and scampered off again, hoping to find another bug to catch. 

“Kids, they're quite the handful.” Roman mused once he caught up. Virge sneered at him and rolled his eyes. It wasn't nearly as threatening as he intended–more butterflies had flocked to his horns.

“I'm not his dad.”

“You certainly have that scary but loving touch with him. Who would have thought you'd care about someone who's no longer your patient.”

“Are you still stuck on the fairy thing?”

“No. You're mean, from what I've seen. This is a pleasant surprise.”

“Says the pick-pocket prince!”

“Are you saying it's a pleasant surprise to know I have a criminal skill?” Roman jeered.

“You aren't as much of a self-righteous prick as I thought.”

“I'll take that as a compliment, you monarch perch!” Roman snickered. Virgil was about to ask what that nickname was about, when he spotted his horns from the corner of his eye.

“Great, now I'm as extra as you.” he pouted, “This happens a lot. It's awful.”

“I for one find it adorable!”

“Adorable? The big bad púca? Did you hit your head when I wasn't looking?” he teased. 

“Take the compliment, oh horrible one!” Roman huffed affectionately and shoved him, causing the butterflies to scatter in a flurry, leaving Virgil a bit dazed. They caught each other's gaze and broke into fits of laughter. Laughter that caught Patt's ear.

“Looks like that adorableness is gone!” Virge wheezed, trying to settle down. Roman's laughter had ceased before. The absolutely unabashed joy that overtook Virgil's entire being was entrancing. His genuine smile and the beautiful sound spilling from him made Roman's heart race.

“No it's not.” he breathed without realizing it. Virge went red.

“Interesting perspective.” he mumbled shyly and rubbed the tip of his horn. He avoided Roman's awestruck gaze and instead scanned the field for Patton. The silly kitty wasn't too far ahead, and he was watching the pair, curiously.

“Hey guys! I found something!” the cat shouted. Roman was the first to hurry to his side.

He crouched down and saw the thing Patton found. It was a red arm band with a strange crest embroidered in gold, and a small book, both were significantly worn down and dirty. Roman snatched the armband up and hid it in his coat. He stared at Patton and brought a finger to his lips. The cat tilted his head curiously, but understood.

“What is it Patt?” Virge asked as he approached.

“It's a diary. I think we should return it to whoever dropped it.”

“Well, let's see if there's anything inside that might help.”

“Allow me.” Roman said with a flourish and opened the cover. The name was smeared and nearly illegible, so he flipped to the last entry, hoping the date would be there still.

“It's been here for five years.”

“Five?” Virge gawked. How could something like that last in the wilderness for that long?

“What does it say? I would be so upset if my journal went missing for that long!”

“You want me to read it?”

“Yeah! We can get clues to find the owner!” Patton cheered. Roman shrugged and looked to Virge for any sign of protest. He was indifferent, so Roman began...

* * *

 

It was kind of a bummer that the nearest town was so far away. Remy just wanted to sleep in a bed for the first time in ages. He escaped from that changeling, got past the cockatrice, and made friends with a siren witch who brewed a mean cup of tea. But he was exhausted. 

He flopped down into the grass and pulled his journal from his bag—he needed to keep track of his adventures! He found a pencil in the bag as well, pulling it and a useless piece of cloth with it. He had way too much to write.

“So like, me, remind me to never get in another sword fight with five guys at once–it’s a bad time, especially for the bandits I beat. I totally earned a free drink from the lady I saved. Stella is such a doll!” He mumbled as he wrote. He shifted so the sword in its holster wouldn't bother his leg, aware that it had more action recently than ever before. It was great to be free.

“And that Percy guy, what a loser! I might not know where I'm going, but I'm not stupid! Babe, I swear he was never gonna get my real name! I never want to use it again! It's cray! I—” he continued, only to freeze when he heard a terrified scream. He dropped everything and ran to the source of the sound.

“My Lord,” a bandit chuckled, holding one Logan hostage and covering his mouth, “There's no need to scream. Hand over your gold and I'll let you live.” Logan struggled against his captor, desperate to break free. How the robber recognized him was a mystery–he was in the plainest peasant clothes just on a scientific excursion! He had no gold!

“Hey, loser!” Remy shouted as he stumbled upon them, “Drop the nerd and get lost!”

“Or what, you'll yell some more?”

“Or I'll cut you.” Remy hummed nonchalantly and drew his sword, “And hun, I will make it hurt.” The robber only had a dagger, that and a sense of self preservation—Remy’s stance was that of a trained guard, and he looked ready to kill. 

“Your little body guard saved you this time!” the bandit hissed and threw Logan to the ground. They ran off into the forest while Remy ran to Logan's aid, after sheathing his sword.

“Hey, you okay, babe?” Remy asked, crouching over him. Logan looked up at him, the late morning sun illuminating his silhouette like some kind of angel. He was the most aesthetically pleasing man Logan ever saw. His heart thundered in his chest and his mouth wouldn't work the way he needed it to.

“I—uh—I–I—fine.” he squeaked.

“Are you always this articulate?” Remy teased and offered him a hand. Logan turned scarlet but did accept his assistance.

“I ah–apologize. I am not usually this disoriented.”

“No worries. So who was that loser, an ex?”

“No, I don't believe I know them. And I don't know you.”

“Remy Traum, girl. And you?”

“Lord Logan of Sandrose. A pleasure to meet you.”

“Sames. Now can I have my hand back?” Remy smirked. Logan withdrew hastily and rubbed the back of his neck. You could cut the tension with a knife.

“So, is Sandrose nice?” Remy asked, “I'm looking for a place to settle down and get a job.” Logan perked up at that.

“Sandrose is a good place to live, and I might have a job opening if you're interested. As you can see I need a guard captain.”

“No you don’t, Lolo, I accept.” Remy jeered, “Care to show me around?”

* * *

 

“And that’s it. R is a guy who’s excited about freedom and kicking ass.” Roman sighed after he finished reading.

“He sounds like some criminal who escaped from jail. And he’s still out there.” Virgil grunted. He did not want or need this kind of stress.

“That was five years ago Virge,” Patton cooed, “He’s probably long gone. When you’re on the lam you can’t stay in one place for too long, trust me!”

“I’ll trust you if you promise not to jump on dangerous plants.” Virgil retorted.

“I promise!” Patton meowed. Roman closed the book and looked between the duo. He was so glad they had no questions for him. He had a duty to fulfill!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _yep that chunk was a flashback_   
>  _fun fact, i had trouble writing this because i am terrified of butterflies..._


	18. Prose

“The stars sure are beautiful tonight.” Patton yawned. After a day of prancing in the fields, the poor little kitty was tuckered out. Virgil idly scratched his ear, making him purr softly against the fae’s leg. The orange glow from the fire lit up his relaxed face with a warmth that couldn’t match the one in his eyes. Roman watched them with some amusement, his eyes focused on Virgil.

“They sure do, Padre.” he agreed, not looking away from his horned hero. Virgil cast him a sideways glance and smirked.

“Are you sure about that?” he jeered, “You aren’t even looking at them.”

“Oh I assure you I am.” Roman countered with an equally teasing smirk, “They reflect beautifully in your eyes.” Virgil averted his gaze and eyed the drowsy cat curling into him instead. His face was far too warm for his liking and it was just the kind of ammunition Roman would need.

“Don’t stare into the abyss, Princey. You might lose your mind.”

“I only want to be lost in your eyes.” Roman retorted, “Unless you would rather I stay here with you instead.” Virgil’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. So Princey was just trying to get under his skin, huh? Well two could play at that game!

“What’s with the lame pick up lines?”

“Lame? As if you could do better!” Roman huffed, utterly offended. He wasn’t aware that he was using any pickup lines until Virgil pointed it out, and frankly he thought nothing of it. He always threw around compliments that might be misunderstood as flirting, or insults. Usually the latter.

“Don’t test me.” Virge growled, already racking his brain for something to outdo the prince. He would never admit that those lines were doing something for him. It was a challenge he would take head-on. A challenge that Roman was sure to deliver, it was written on the smug expression taking over his stupid handsome face. 

“I think I will. Let’s see you do better than that, o vexatious one!”

“You think you can see the stars in my eyes? Well I can hold the brightest one in my hands without getting burned.” Virgil hummed confidently. Despite years of near isolation, he knew the key to making anyone squirm was confidence, whether it be flirting or frightening off someone. Roman sure took notice of that, but he wouldn’t let something so simple faze him!

“I don’t see how that–” Roman said, only to freeze when Virgil carefully cupped his face in his hands and grinned. Roman’s face was just like a stewed tomato, squishy and bright red.

“You’re horrible!” Roman whined and pushed his hands away to cover his blushing face. How dare he! And he was laughing!—And it was cute! The nerve!

“Horrible? Why? Because I beat you at your game?”

“Beat me? Hardly! I gave you two lines, you have yet to match me or beat me!” Roman huffed irately but scooted closer to Virgil unconsciously. He was not about to admit defeat so easily! 

“Two lines from a prince, who’s sweet voice is a poem? I’m beyond flattered.” Virgil said, leaning into his side, “I might start speaking, in haikus to match your charm. But I won’t do that.” Roman replayed the words in his head and counted the syllables on his fingers, twisting his face in concentration.

“You little shit!” he laughed, “Is that the only form of poetry you can come up with?”

“You want an epic, a ballad, a sonnet, or a limerick this time?” Virgil teased, sitting up, ready for whatever the prince threw at him. 

Roman chewed his bottom lip and rubbed his chin in thought. He was leaning toward a ballad, but he was too tired to fully appreciate it. An epic would take too long. A sonnet would be nice, perhaps just a recitation instead of a completely new piece would suit the moment better. There was only one option left.

“I’m in a good mood. Let’s hear a limerick.”

“A prince locked up in a tower, craved a hero each day and hour, his hope was in vain, his hero’s a pain, a púca with a scary glower.” Virgil recited his impromptu piece smugly.

“Whoever this prince is, he’s truly misfortunate. I am so glad it’s not me!” Roman replied and leaned on Virgil, yawning. He was ready to fall asleep.

“You sure about that?” Virgil chuckled.

“Positive!” Roman mumbled, “I’m traveling with a healer who’s kind and poetic with a dazzling smile. I had no idea you actually had an interest in poetry, especially the way you brushed it off during the escape.” 

“We were kinda trying to get away from the dragon-guarded castle surrounded by lava. Interest had nothing to do with that.”

“Fair.” Roman mumbled, “But now we have the time. Recite another one, please.”

“Since you said please.” Virgil hummed, “How about some prose? You can pick the topic.” It wasn't exactly what he was hoping for, but if Virgil could manage two impromptu poems with nothing to go on, there might be a chance that this would be the best chance to see how poetic his language could be. As for the topic, well Roman had something in mind.

“Tell me about true love. Romantic true love.” Roman sighed wistfully and yawned again. Virgil pouted—true love was only true in fairy tales, meant for humans and sídhe, not him. He couldn't say that! If he were more naive, like back before puberty, he might have a shot at appeasing the temperamental cutie leaning on him. Wait, that was it.

“I searched the heavens behind every star, only to find the void stretching out. It gnawed at my weary soul with doubt, a fear of loneliness of being subpar. My hopes persisted in my youth, they clung to me with claw and tooth, but that hope filled me with rage, as I grew in this day and age. I was a miserable sprig of sage1, cursed to be luckless with a new truth.” Virge said barely above a whisper. His vision became blurry as Roman snuggled up to his side, not quite asleep yet. Patton's ears perked up—he wanted to hear this!

“Reality mirrored my nagging fear, until I saw you one fateful day. Your dazzling smile took my breath away, and your symphonic song drew me near. Behind dark lashes two windows stared, hickory curtains opened behind clear panes, and in those eyes I saw a love that never wanes. It was a connection I hoped we shared.” he continued, staring off into the sky. Patton stole a glimpse of him and pouted. The rueful loneliness in his voice and words hurt.

“Just below those pools a scarlet banner flew. Your face was as warm as the sun, and your shy laugh was enough to stun. With a smirk on your lips I already knew, that I would meet them with mine in a tender kiss. I'll tell you now I'll tell you this, your the only one I will always miss. Your journey brought a life anew, but no matter how far you go I'll always love you.” he finished, blinking back tears. He wished that what he said could be real, that someone could look into his eyes like that and never want to leave. It was wishful thinking.

“That was beautiful,” Roman mumbled into his shoulder, “I want to meet eyes like those.”

“You will, Princey. Now get some sleep.” Virge sighed and closed his eyes. Maybe one day they'd both be lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 Sage is a healing herb. It's bad luck to plant it alone in a garden or keep it in a flower pot. Don't isolate a safe plant


	19. Slowly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Alexa this is so sad_

Patton led the way, deciding not to look back over his shoulder at his companions. They were in a small debate about the proper use of different herbs. He had no idea what he could add to the conversation, never having studied herbal magic. Besides, they were getting along so well! 

“Oh come on! You know roses don't heal anything!” Virge scoffed behind him. 

“They heal broken hearts!” Roman argued, “not all healing is physical!”

“No duh!” Virge retorted, probably rolling his eyes, “But even then roses don't have any magical healing properties, they're for love potions—you’re wrong, admit it.”

“You only say that because no one has ever given you roses! You have no idea how powerful a healer love is!”

“That's not—”

“You know it is!”

“Play nice!” Patton called over his shoulder, not too concerned about the pair getting into an ugly spat. If he were being honest with himself, he would rather have them acting like this than fighting! Still, when he glanced back, Virge looked utterly defeated. Roman was watching him too, full of guilt.

“Hey Virge, what does a blue flower with red thorns do?” Patton meowed, shifting the conversation slightly. Virgil perked up.

“It's a sort of catalyst. It keeps the magic focused on the intended target so it works faster.”

“Really?” Roman perked up, “is that how you healed Patton so quickly?”

“Yeah. It's my special ingredient.” Virgil shrugged, “Most fae see it as an herb that conveys selfish vanity, which it does on its own.”

“Woah!” Patton gasped and faced him, “You really are the greatest healer I know!” Virgil ducked his head and went scarlet. Accepting praise was going to take a lot of practice. Of course, he wasn't the only one who was blushing. Roman's eyes were wide and locked on him. If Patton didn't know any better he would think somebody was in love!

“I'm sure you've met better, Patt.” Virge tried to deflect him weakly.

“I haven't!” Roman chimed in, surprised his voice was working.

“Uh, yeah well you were trapped in a tower for years, Princey, that's not surprising.” Virge deflected, favoring to scan the horizon instead. He was surprised to see Sandrose silhouetted against the orange dusk. They were so close, and he wished he could prolong the journey.

“And I might've needed a healer. Ethan was good about keeping me healthy! That dragon plucked only the best from the streets!” Roman scoffed, “Just take the compliment!”

“It's a good thing we only have three hours til we get to Sandrose.” Virgil grumbled. He only half meant it–it meant he would be able to go home but it also meant leaving Roman to get married. At least Patton would visit occasionally.

“Oh, I thought we were going to make camp again!” Patton thought aloud, “It's Friday and if we pass through the woods we could get hurt.”

“He’s right!” Roman gasped, “The faire folk would have a field day with us! You know first hand how bad they are on Fridays!”

“You, you have a point.” Virgil frowned, recalling the horror that was the entire village turning into large monsters with sharp teeth. He was the only one who made sure all the Friday chores were done and the iron gates were up, which hurt like hell.

“Great! I’ll go hunt some food and you two can gather some firewood!” Patton cheered.

“Yes! We'll check that old mill for supplies!” Roman replied exuberantly. He grabbed Virge's hand and ran off before someone could argue. Patton chuckled as he watched them go–he did a good thing. With that in mind, the kitty was off to hunt!

“Slow down, Prince Under-arm Stink!” Virgil shouted, getting Roman to stop abruptly. They collided unceremoniously and toppled to the ground, rolling down a short hill. Roman landed on top of Virgil just outside the mill.

“Your nicknames need work, Spikes!” Roman huffed and propped himself up on his elbows, smirking down at the púca beneath him. Virgil looked gorgeous with his hair splayed around his head and a frustrated glower taking over his countenance. Those sharp eyes burned Roman’s very soul and his heart pounded in his chest.

“As if yours are any better! Now get up!” Virgil snarled. Roman stayed where he was and smiled impishly down at him. The sunlight reflecting off his stupid hair was like a warm fire around his stupid handsome face. He wanted to headbutt the smug look off the prince’s face, or maybe just kiss it away—wait no! Not when Roman was supposed to marry Logan!

“I quite like it in this position, it’s a rush to look down on the night’s most fearsome son as if I had some sort of dominance over him.” Roman hummed.

“‘The night’s most fearsome son?’ Clever, for a player who’s never won.” Virgil droned nonchalantly despite the raging blush on his cheeks. Roman gasped offendedly. Rhyming to insult him? It was unforgivable!

“Never won!?” he hissed, “I beg to differ!” Virgil scoffed and rolled over so the prince was on his back with his arms pinned above his head.

“Then beg.” Virgil snarled glaring at him. Roman was bright red and so very invested in this little back-and-forth. His only worry was Patton catching them and squealing. He was not worried about the strong fairy with razor-sharp teeth sneering at him in such a vulnerable position.

“Like this, I might.” he teased with a wink. Virgil got up abruptly and stormed into the windmill. Roman snickered at his departure and shook his head. He had no right to fall for Virgil at this stage. Hold on—fall for him? No way! He had some thinking to do.

Inside the windmill, Virgil found a stack of dry firewood that wasn't too badly decayed. The building itself was empty and full of wooden platforms and stairs. The only things that weren't entirely wood were a stone hearth, which fell prey to Nature's reconquest, and a simple music box. 

He had to investigate.

The sound of a lively folk song filled the air the second Virge opened it. He slammed the lid shut quickly lest someone hear and come running. 

That someone was Roman. He burst into the mill with a frantically excited expression.

“I heard music!” he exclaimed, “Foreign vibrant music! Where did it come from!?”

“This.” Virgil replied warily, holding up the trinket.

“Open it right now! I’ve been dying to learn the local songs!” Roman ordered. 

“You know this is all instrumental, right?”

“Oh,” Roman pouted, “Can you teach me the lyrics?”

“I guess? I don't like to sing much.” Virge answered, lying slightly. He liked singing in private, where no one could hear him and judge him.

“Could you sing the first verse for me?” Roman pleaded, batting his eyes. Virgil groaned and opened the box.

“Tara uait anonn–ní le heisann. Ná coinnigh faoi rún airím freisin, Yeah.” Virge sang, in key, “A cur 's a’ cuitreanh sea go deimhin, yeah. Oh nís fearr.” he continued, absolutely bewitching Roman. Such a beautiful deep voice! And it was wasted on the deaf walls of his home if Virgil ever sang? Blasphemy!

“‘ghrian na luí—a deareach lae. 'Gheallach lonra 'nuas mín réidh. Mé 'g iarra breith ar chuile nóimead. I gcónaí, gcónaí.” The púca continued, flushing from embarrassment as the prince gawked at him.

“Did you get that?” Virge asked, retreating into himself.

“I think so. 'Tara uait anonn–ní le heisann. Ná coinnigh faoi rún airím freisin, yeah. A chur s’ a’ cuitreanh sea go deimhin, yeah. Oh nís fearr’ Is that correct?” Roman replied, singing the lyrics perfectly in a low tenor key. He was like an angel. His tone even captured the melancholy the song carried, despite not understanding a word of it. To say Virgil was starstruck would have been an understatement!

“That—That was nearly perfect. How did you—”

**_Bam_ **

“Hey kiddos! I got food!” Patton shouted happily as he tumbled through the door. Roman laughed at the silly kitty and decided his lesson could wait, but not for long. Food was too good to pass up. Virgil, tired of looking like a horned tomato, silently agreed–they were too close to the edge and about to fall into a world of trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for the song used to [TG Lurgan](https://youtu.be/GZ7Idz7BciA) these kids are amazing


	20. Flowers

“What did you say this was, Padre?” Roman asked between bites of an unidentified piece of meat.

“Weed rat—rotisserie style!” Patton cheered as he rotated another skewer over the fire with a couple more pieces of meat.

“No kidding!” Roman said, pleasantly surprised, “Well it's really good!”

“Thanks Roma!” Catton cheered, “What do you think Virge?” He looked to his friend and pouted. Virgil was sitting, staring off into the sunset, poking his mostly untouched food with a clawed finger. He was lost in thought, unaware Patton was talking to him.

“Oh Prongs,” Roman cooed sweetly, “Padre asked you a question.” Virgil jolted and looked at Patton expectantly.

“What's on your mind, buddy? You're not eating.”

“Oh, I was just thinking about how late it's getting. You and Ro might want to get inside.” Virge lied.

“Because the sídhe?” Patton questioned, suspecting there was more to it.

“Yeah.”

“Well I'm gonna stand guard, but I think you're right. We can't have anything bad happening when we're so close.”

“Close?” Roman peeped, only a little lost.

“We arrive in Sandrose tomorrow, kiddo.” Patton clarified. Roman wilted and set his food aside. He didn't want to arrive in Sandrose and marry a stranger, even if he were honor bound!

“I think I will retire.” Roman said and rose to his feet, “Goodnight, Padre,” he smiled at Patton then turned his attention to Virgil, “and goodnight Virgil.” He ran a hand along one of Virgil's horns before strutting toward the windmill. Virgil was stammering and blushing.

“Oh,” Patton chuckled and eyed Virge mischievously, “I see what's going on here!”

“What?!” Virgil yelped, “What are you talking about?”

“I got animal instincts and I can tell you and Roman are into each other!”

“It doesn't matter, I have to get him to Lord Logan and save my family.”

“There are other ways to do that, ones that won't make you miserable.” Patton responded. Virgil sighed and got to his feet.

“I'll be back.” he grumbled.

“Where are you going?”

“To get more firewood.” Virge wandered toward a patch of flowers and sat down. Patton knew there was plenty of wood, but he didn't question Virge. The guy needed to think and he had to stand guard.

* * *

Virgil was deep in thought, staring at Sandrose and hardly paying reality any attention. Patton didn't mind, he wanted to talk to Roman about his feelings for Virge.

The kitty entered the mill in all its eerie silence. The shadows cast between beams of support and moonlight made his fur stand on end.

“Prince Roman?” he called. Nothing.

A shadow darted past him, snatching his attention.

“Hello?” he called again, taking on his natural form. 

A shadow darted over him. He drew his sword 

**_Crash_ **

A creature fell from the rafters. It had goat horns and a hairy body. When it stood it was at least 6’6” and it lumbered toward Patton, who realized that it was another púca. On a Friday night. Oh no!

“Virge! Vir—” Patton tried to shout, only to have his mouth covered by the creature.

“Patton, it's me, in this body.” he whispered. Foolishly, the creature let go of Patt's mouth.

“Oh my God you ate Prince Roman!—Virge!—Just keep breathing and if you see a bright light, stay away from it!—Vir–” his mouth was covered yet again. This time Roman took on a human form, one that was slightly different than before, complete with horns. His hair was curlier and he wasn't as pale as a sheet, and he had a beauty mark under his left eye. His eyes were the same, though, but darker. They were the only thing that struck Patton.

“Princey?” Patton breathed once he was free, “You—You look different.”

“I look like me.”

“Well yeah, but not exactly.”

“No, Padre, this is what  _ I _ look like, not that prince.”

“I mean, I know that curse is a little weird. I expected you to be an ogre or something like that, not a pseudo púca.”

“Patton, listen to me and never repeat what I'm about to tell you.”

“I swear on my horrible Antonio Banderas impression.”

“The prince who was locked away left five years ago. I took his place. He wanted freedom, and I wanted true love despite being a nightmare.”

“So you aren't a prince?”

“No. Púcaí are solitary fae. We answer to the sídhe but we don't have our own leaders. A fae can dream.”

“So there's a guy out there who turns into a monster at night and he might be in trouble if he's caught?”

“You make him sound stupid and defenseless when you say it like that. But yes.”

“So he probably got what he wanted, but what about you?”

“It was a foolish dream. I should have known better, nothing could change me from the unlovable monster I was born to become. I'm damned to be alone and a bringer of nightmares! What I would give to be human and never cause those troubles again!”

“I don't think that's fair, you are not a monster. Plus, you might have found him already.”

Outside, Virgil was headed for the door. He had a sunflower in his hand and he was trying to find the right words. He was going to tell Roman how he felt and ask him to stay instead of marrying Logan. But his ears caught on to something he wished he never heard.

“A púca doesn't deserve true love! Much less with a human!”

Virgil gritted his teeth and threw the flower on the ground. He transformed into a horse and ran toward Sandrose. The sooner this hell was over, the better. To think someone would care about him!

“Well what about with someone like you? Another púca.”

“Another púca? You mean Virgil?”

“Why not? You two have chemistry, and frankly I feel like a third wheel—which is okay, I don't mind.”

“You really think Virgil would find it in his heart to love me, even after I deceived him?”

“I do, and I think he'll understand.” Patton chuckled and ruffled his hair, “You got this kiddo. And I got a job to do!” He let Roman see him out and turned into a cat again. Roman chuckled at him, happily bounding through the grass. At least someone was sure of themselves! That's when he saw the sunflower.

Roman picked it up and ran a clawed hand around the petals. Perhaps fate could answer his burning question: should he confess to everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I am so scared to write the next couple of chapters. Get ready for angst..._


	21. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Raise your hand if you're ready for angst! ~~I'm not~~_

Logan could hardly sleep. How could he though?—his captain of the guard refused to speak to him. Remy locked himself away in his room for two days straight, only eating when Logan tried to make peace with food offerings. He missed Remy and as he wandered the grounds, Logan realized how much he needed him. It wasn't just him guarding the noble, it was the relaxed positive energy Remy brought with him, his unsuspecting intelligence, his company–everything Logan missed. He wanted to throw away all his lifelong plans and spit in the face of his title. Was a library worth the heartache? No. Was the open education of his people who needed the opportunity worth it? Yes. They deserved to have that, and he couldn't stand in the way of them no matter how much it hurt.

“Hey Specs!” a familiar voice called out to him. He raised his eyes to face the creature he loathed to see. A dark horse with a purple mane stood in the garden staring at him expectantly.

“I have your prince. Come with me and get him before I change my mind.”

“I do not take kindly to threats. But I don't have any other choice, do I?” Logan sighed, “Allow me to get my horse.”

* * *

 

The sunrise was drawing nearer and nearer. Roman sat on the floor, surrounded by yellow petals, with a will-o’-the-wisp floating over his hand for light. He hadn't slept all night, unlike the cat perched overhead in the rafters, who made a point to avoid the fairy magic. He whispered to himself, delicately plucking off one petal at a time.

“I tell him…”

“I tell him not…”

“I tell him!” he shouted and shifted back into the prince. The dramatic reveal was the only option! With that in mind, he burst through the door and into the dawn, smiling proudly, not caring if he heard a cat screeched and fall from the rafters.

That smile fell when he saw Virgil guiding a brown horse with a serious man on its back. That had to be Lord Logan Lehrer. What was he doing there?

“Good, you're awake.” Virgil huffed, “Prince Roman, allow me to introduce Lord Logan.” Logan peeked around the horse’s head and his heart shattered. Those tawny eyes and that auburn hair, the face shape–Roman looked exactly like Remy. How cruel was the universe to do this to him? He wasn't the only one who was distressed and distracted.

“Virge, are you alright?” Roman asked softly, keeping his gaze warm. There was no reason to fret, there was a chance this was a ploy to get Logan to change his mind. Or perhaps it was just a dramatic way to tell Logan that Roman was no longer available—a dramatic gesture that would make the 'prince’ swoon.

“Just peachy.” Virge snarled and stormed past him. A horrible chill ran down Roman's spine.

“Virgil, what's wrong? Talk to me. It helps.” Roma offered weakly. He didn't want to lose Virgil. He could talk his way out of the marriage if Virgil wanted him to, he wanted to.

“Talking helps, huh?” Virge scoffed, “Especially behind someone's back. I heard enough from you and Patton last night, you must be great friends!”

“You heard all that?” Roman paled. He knew his lies would come back to bite his ankles.

“Yeah. And you're right, a púca doesn't deserve true love—if it even exists!” His words were biting, cold, not human. His glare was sharp, icy, hurt.

“I–I—you don't think a púca can have true love?” Roman gawked at him, all confidence lost.

“It doesn't matter, just look at the facts, your Royal Highn-ass. I've had enough of this game and the lies that come with it.” Virge scowled and made his way toward the forest. Roman stared after him, breaking inside. Perhaps he was never meant to be rescued or loved, but to be strung along like that for nothing? He was ready to cry.

“Excuse me.” Logan said, clearing his throat, “Prince Roman, I am truly humbled to be in your radiant presence.” He bowed and promptly took a knee. His actions were stiff and robotic.

“Please, the pleasure is all mine. There's no need to—”

“I know it seems forward of me, and I hope you will forgive that, but I must ask now: Will you marry me?” He secretly prayed for Roman to say no. Roman looked up Virgil's back and sighed–he wouldn't care if Roman went through with this, as planned. He had one choice to maintain his honor since a happily ever after was no longer within reach.

“Is there something the matter?”

“No, no. I was entertaining the idea of a short farewell.” Roman hummed with a small smile—a fake smile to match his fake calm.

“I would save my breath, púcaí aren't the most socially adept creatures.”

“You're right, it isn't.” Roman huffed. Virge didn't move, he wouldn't let the tears brimming in his eyes spill over.

Patton emerged from the mill as a cat and watched Roman and Logan climb into his horse. He saw Virgil walking away and immediately ran after him.

“Virge what are you doing!? You're letting him get away!”

“Yeah, so what?” Virge spat, not looking back.

“So what? Virgil!” Patton gasped, following him, “Listen to me, there's something you don't know about him!”

“Oh yeah and you do! I heard you talking last night! You're great pals aren't you?! So why don't you follow him home!?” he snarled, his voice breaking.

“Virgil I don't understand,  what did I do to make you this upset?”

“Go ask your best friend you shit-talking backstabber!” Virgil snapped and stormed off.

“Virgil?” Patton whimpered as his ears dropped. He was at a loss as his first friend since Logan left him.

Logan left the old mill with Roman holding him around the middle. Seeing a reflection of Remy in this prince was not helping him. He refused to look at Roman and murder what few shards remained of his heart. That was certainly beneficial to Roman.

The worst pain he had ever felt in his life engulfed him. The ache in his chest was like a festering wound. He dreamt about finding a human to love for ages, only to find that love in another solitary fae. And he was willing to accept that. But Virge stomped out the flames of his yearning and pissed on the embers.

And even then he would have forgiven him if he decided to come back and apologize. The unrequited pining would undo him.

Three hours of silence.

Three hours to reflect.

Logan's mind wandered from his library to his guard captain. He would never forgive himself for his course of action, no matter how the people benefitted


	22. Broken

There was something cathartic about listening to the flow of water. Patton stared at the stream, ignoring his human reflection. He messed up yet another friendship, and he had no idea how to fix it. This time he didn't even do anything wrong! If he could only explain what the conversation with Roman two nights ago was about, he wouldn't feel so bad.

As he wondered if he were worthy of friends Patton heard the faintest sob. He adjusted his form to hide the weapons and hat and got up to investigate. Even if he felt like crap, he refused to let someone else feel just as horrible.

Just past a grove of trees on the bank, there was a man in a dark traveler's cloak with his knees pulled to his chest. He was sobbing and Patton couldn't bring himself to walk away.

“Hey, what's wrong?” he asked, speaking without his terrible impression.

“What does it matter to you?”

“Well you look like you need someone to talk to and I'm a good listener.” Patton said, sitting next to him, “And I can keep a secret.”

“Even about murder?” the stranger mumbled.

“Yeah, even about that.” Patton replied with a hint in his voice that maybe–just maybe–he had blood on his hands.

“I killed him. It was an accident–I had no idea he was a morph.”

“Who?” Patton pressed, although nervously.

“The one I love, my soulmate. He had the misfortune of meeting me by chance, not as himself, and I told him everything. As if that weren't _fantastic_ itself, I hurt him so badly–he jumped in the way during a fight. I am not a killer or a monster!” he said bitterly and broke down again.

“Accidents happen. Especially to us morphs. I can tell you stories about my blunders! I almost got killed by a fawn, a faoladh*, a cockatrice, and most recently a dragon. I was lucky to have a healer nearby then.”

“A healer?” the man scoffed, “No human can heal a dragon burn.”

“He's a fae. I healed up in no time! Good as new!”

“A fae can't prevent the scarring.” the man huffed and dried his eyes, not revealing his face.

“Not a normal fae, I guess. But, uh, how do you know so much about dragon burns?” Patton chuckled, “Did you get burnt before or something? You don't have to answer that if it's too personal." The man removed his hood and sighed, shaking his head.

“Holy shit!” Patton gasped and stumbled back a bit. That was not the face he expected to see!

“Yes, I am a dragon. Don't act so surpri—” he droned, turning to face Patton. As soon as he laid eyes on that unscathed face his voice stopped working.

“Hey Ethan, I'm not dead.” he giggled.

“I don't recall telling you my name.” Ethan chuckled, a slight smirk breaking through. It was really cute!

“I read it on one of your letters.” Patton shrugged, “Who knew you could get mail up there!”

“I can't really reprimand that.” Ethan chuckled weakly, “I'm sorry about that whole—" He motioned to Patton's face.

“It's okay. You were doing your job! Besides, when you're angry it's kinda hot!”

“Was that pun intended?” the dragon blushed.

“Yup!”

“That is incredibly attractive—dammit!—” he shook his head and changed the subject, “–You are far more amicable than I expected, flirting with me after i nearly barbequed you and making friends with a púca!”

“He hates me.” Patton wilted.

“Roman hates you?”

“No, not him, the one you fought. Virgil. He hates me and Roman now. He said I stabbed him in the back and I don't know what I did!”

“Is there a chance you can get him to talk with the both of you? Roman did convince me to let the real princess go. He's a persuasive one, persuasive and irksome on his worst days.”

“Princess? But Roman said he switched with a prince.”

“Interesting! So Princess Reverie is but a memory. No matter, the fact remains: I lost track of them after Roman showed up to take away their second curse. By curse I mean being locked away.”

“That was a curse?”

“Idling away to wait for their true love, who might never come? Yes. Roman's desperate. It's the only thing he wants in life. He would never shut up about how wonderful it was to find an enchanted castle so he could get swept off his feet and carried into the sunset.

“And he's gonna marry Logan!?” Patton shrieked and jumped to his feet, “Absolutely not! I won't stand for it!” The sheer indignity coursing through him had only been matched once—and this time he wouldn't run .

“And what pretell are you going to do?” Ethan chuckled and got to his feet, “Because whatever it is, it won't be possible alone.”

“I am going to make them—” Patton shifted into his favorite form and switched to his horrible impression, “—pray for mercy from Puss–in Boots!”

“And then?”

“Pray for mercy from Virgil.” he added sheepishly.

* * *

Prayer. It was all that Roman was living on. He was sitting in the room Logan so graciously provided. The regal four poster bed was as soft as a cloud, and the drawn red curtains filtered the light dramatically. It suited his mood perfectly. He was lounging on the red silken sheets, sprawled out on his side with tears streaming down his face. This was the end of a glorious chapter in his life–the end of Elizabeth and the rise of James for Shakespeare. His dramatic soul couldn't think of a better example.

A knock came at his door.

“I'm not camera ready!” he wailed.

“Girl I don't care.” Remy said from the other side. The biting tone in his voice caused Roman to flinch as he entered.

“You're absolutely going through with this bullshit, huh?” Remy scoffed, opening the curtains and glaring down at Roman. The púca prince stared up at him pathetically, yet defiantly.

“I see how it is, hon.” the captain scoffed, “It's just like you to meddle with other people's lives just so you feel important.”

“Can't you see I'm a heartbroken wreck about to marry someone I don't love?! The one I want tossed me aside for his family's home, and here I am trying to pay it forward because I can't have him even if none of this were happening!” Roman sobbed, “I have to uphold my honor! That's all I have left!”

“Then you had better shove that honor up your ass, bitch. Logan doesn't want you either!” Remy barked.

“Then why don't you stop him?” Roman replied averting his gaze.

“Girl I tried.” Remy sighed and sat down next to Roman, “He won't listen to me. There's no use in trying now.”

“Giving up? You? There's still a chance if you're willing to take it. Otherwise we'll be married and no one wants that. I expect you will do what your heart is begging you to do, don't let me down now.” Roman said firmly, though he looked like a hot mess. Remy pouted and stood slowly, leaving Roman alone. He had a lot to think over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _angst. It's not my strong point._  
>  *A faoiladh is an Irish werewolf, with a good conscience. They're not ruthless fighters. Patton is a little shit my dudes!


	23. Hallelujah

Virgil arrived at his home and with found it was locked up and undisturbed, a comfort that didn't quiet the hurricane in his head. He entered the cottage and tossed his satchel to some odd corner of the room. He didn't bother to go to the kitchen and boil the water that he had sanitized the day before he left–a cup of tea wouldn't help his mood. Nothing would.

He went to his favorite chair and sat down. The worn upholstery and cushioning should have been enough to get his muscles to relax at least an iota, and the familiar seat would have had it not been for the book open on the table next to it. Virgil, foolishly curious to see what his life looked like before the journey, read the page, ignoring the picture.

“‘...to be awakened by true love’s kiss.’” he mumbled to himself. His blasé facade scrunched into a furious glower. He grabbed the book by the seam, crumpling and tearing the pages with his claws, and threw it against the opposite wall. Enraged, hurt, and betrayed, Virgil didn’t wait for the book to hit the wall before letting out a deafening screech that brought tears to his eyes.

He slammed back into the chair and threw his head back to keep the sorrow from spilling over. He blinked and blinked, trying to push them back from whence they came, but closing his eyes brought images to his mind—images of Roman's smile and his shining eyes, images of the first good dream he had in ages, images of the warm glances that landed on him. All of them lies from a wicked prince!

“Son of a bitch!” he hissed softly as the tears spilled over. He should have known the second Roman brought up púcaí that he would always be prejudice. No amount of chemistry would change that. No amount of bonding or supposedly romantic glances could change his mind. It was so stupid to develop feelings for that spoiled brat!

He wanted to destroy everything. But his limbs felt like lead and his eyelids were just as heavy. He drifted off into a dreamless sleep, not to be roused again until the following day.

 

“Where’s my favorite handsome man!” the one and Joanly Joan shouted as they kicked the door open, letting it slam against the wall, “Have I got news for you!” Normally Virgil would groan and roll his eyes before scolding Joan for putting yet another dent in his wall. This time he stayed frozen in place, pretending he was still sleeping.

Joan’s happy little jaunt to their favorite handsome man was cut short when they saw the wet streaks running down Virgil’s cheeks. He was crying in his sleep, great.

“You okay, Virge?” they asked.

“No more than usual.” he chuckled bitterly.

“Do you want to tell me what happened? You were gone–for a week–with no indication of where you were.”

“You want the trailer or the entire plot?”

“Which one is easier for you right now?”

“Trailer.”

“I guess I’ll skip the popcorn!” Joan giggled, “So what happened?”

“I went to Lord Logan to tell him to back off. We made a deal, I’d go get this prince for him to marry and he’d do me a favor. Patton and I got the prince, and at first I didn’t like him, a total diva.”

“Oh boy!” Joan rolled their eyes.

“Yeah. But it turns out he’s actually cool, friendly, street smart, and I honestly felt something there.”

“Oho! Look at you go, Tiger!” Joan teased, causing Virge to snort and shake his head. He frowned again and sighed,

“I wish. I overheard him and Patton talking, saying I don't deserve to fall in love.”

“Ouch. What were their exact words. Patton doesn't seem like the type to talk shit.”

“The prince said, 'A púca doesn't deserve true love! Much less with a human!’ and I think that's pretty telling.”

“Damn! What else did that fucker say?” Joan pressed, thirsty for some hot tea.

“The hell if I know, I couldn't bear to stick around.”

“Virgil, did you take something out of context again?” Joan said in a teasingly scolding way, just like his grandmother.

“It's possible.” Virgil pouted. He could admit he was one for jumping to conclusions, and that might've messed with his social life ever since he was young.

“It’s likely. So let me give you the good news before you really start to think about that.”

“I could use some good news.”

“Logan's little housing project is going to come to a halt.”

“Housing project?”

“Yeah, he was going to build houses on the edge of the forest for the families that would have to move for his library.”

“He was never building that damn library on the border?” Virgil snarled, clawing into the armrests of his chair. The purple in his eyes was darkening as rage consumed him.

“No. Didn't you listen to Patton?” they asked warily. It had been ages since Virgil got so angry. He was already falling back into his standard form, unable to keep his magical guise up _and_ keep from flying into a blind rage.

“That bastard!” Virgil shouted and lunged forward. Joan shrank and flew out of the way as their friend raced out the door. Joan closed the door and locked up, knowing Virgil would be back soon enough. They had excellent news they had yet to tell.

* * *

 

“Prince Roman?” a knock came on his door. Roman took a deep breath and plastered a smile on his face before opening the door. He was met with an oddly familiar face that he couldn’t quite place. It was that of  a humble friar with a calming aura. His hood was up and there was something about his appearance that didn't feel real. That might've been because this was as horrible as Roman's nightmares .

“Is there something I can help you with, Friar?” he asked, leaning on the doorframe, yawning. Manners would have been ideal for a prince speaking with the man who was supposed to officiate his beautiful wedding, but Roman was not a prince and this wedding was certainly not beautiful.

“It’s time to join Lord Logan at the altar, Roma. The entire kingdom is waiting for you.” the friar smiled sweetly, as if he knew more than he was letting on.

“Oh, of course. I had no idea it was so late.” Roman lied. He was most certainly avoiding the ceremony until the last minute.

“Come along then, we have to get you dressed!” he hummed and walked away. Roman regrettably followed, not one to upset such a kind old man. There were more than enough people who were upset because of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _shit hit the fan_


	24. Crashing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _No more angst. It's time for the good shit_

Roman stared off into the distance. This was really happening, he was getting married to a human in an elegant chapel with the entire kingdom watching. The stained glass window behind him filtered the early afternoon light in an array of rainbows but he couldn't feel the joy the scene should have brought. His dream felt like a nightmare. His groom, still donning his signature indigo apparel, looked just as happy, if not more so miserable.

The friar's words fell on deaf ears. The idea of life-long love and devotion was about as profound as a slotted drinking straw. This was an act of duty, nothing more. The stoic pairing was waiting with exaggerated hope for someone to burst in and object to this union. Roman doubted Virgil would come now, not that he wanted to be bothered with that jerk. Logan prayed Remy would burst in through the front door, but he couldn't bring himself to expect his guard captain to save his life this time.

“If there is anyone who objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.” the friar droned, ready to go home.

A horrible screech from the outside made the entire congregation jolt. The friar smirked and guided the grooms away from the altar, and more importantly, the window. He knew what was coming.

**_Bam_ **

A large yellow dragon crashed through the window and roared, pleased with the screams he received.

“I object!” a voice shouted from the dragon's back. Roman grinned from ear to ear–there was no mistaking that horrible Antonio Banderas impression!

“Padre!” he cheered as a brown tabby in black boots and a feathered hat leapt to the ground, sword drawn.

“Stop this now, Logan.” the cat ordered, pointing his sword at the lord, only to prove he knew which man was which–paws were terrible for pointing dramatically! Logan did not see it that way.

“Puss in Boots?” he breathed, confounded. The weapon pointed at him, the way he refused to use his title, the criminal record–he should have expected this upstart to cause trouble. He was almost grateful.

“Guards!” Logan shouted, coming to his senses.

But nobody came.

“It's amazing how quickly they surrendered.” Puss purred, “And you will yield too. Stop this madness!”

“Padre!?” Roman gasped, surprised to see his happy-go-lucky companion so cold.

“You want to marry a prince? You'd better look elsewhere. Roman is a double!” Patton declared. Roman's jaw dropped, horrified that Patton broke his promise.

“If what you say is true, then where is the real prince?” Logan countered smugly. He would not be swayed by some cheap trick.

**_Bam_ **

“I object!” Remy burst through the door, catching everyone's attention. He strutted up to the altar, unfazed by the dragon and the felon feline. He had one goal.

“So this is where they ran off to.” the dragon mumbled quietly to the cat, still catching the noble's ear. Logan looked at Remy, then at Roman, and then back to Remy. In an instant, everything made sense.

“And you better step off, Puss!” Remy snapped, drawing his sword. 

“You should put that away before you hurt yourself.” Patton warned. He didn't want to fight Remy, especially now that he knew who this guard captain was.

“Put away your weapon.” Remy demanded. Patton obliged, thinking it was smarter to listen just this once.

But just as his sword was halfway sheathed a deafening screech echoed through the town. It was so high pitched the rest of the windows shattered and the entire congregation fell to the ground, covering their ears. Everyone except for Roman and the strange friar. He smiled hopefully—it was a púca's battle cry, Virgil could be coming back for him! Virge might have forgiven him for lying about his identity!

Indeed it was Virgil! He stormed inside in his true form, the goat man, and went straight for the stunned noble.

“Logan Lehrer you son of a bitch!” Virgil shouted and pushed past Remy and Patton. He grabbed Logan's jaw and hoisted him into the air so they were eye level.

“You are the scum of the earth! My kin will not be moved because of you!”

“I intend to keep my word!” Logan squeaked. The fear in his voice only fueled Virgil's resolve. If acting like the monster everyone expected him to be protected his family and home, he would take that hate.

“You tricked me—and I've dealt with more betrayal than I can take. Cancel your plan before I cancel your life!” he snarled, tightening his grip.

“Virge wait a sec!” Patton shouted, foregoing his bad impression. Logan and Virgil froze and turned their gazes upon the cat, or rather, the man who liked to be a cat.

“You have it all wrong, Virge! Roman's not—”

“Patton!?” Logan shouted with tears in his eyes. It had been so long!

“Hey, Lo, it's been a while. You haven't changed a bit.” Patton scoffed, and turned his attention to Virgil again, “Roman and I weren't talking about you last night!”

“Then who was it?”

“Me.” Roman spoke up, and let his disguise fall. Gone was the pale prince with auburn hair and tawny eyes, and in his place stood the most beautiful man in the world–dark curly hair, brilliant brown eyes, complete with horns.

“um...That explains a lot.” Virgil gawked and dropped Logan, who landed with a thud. Everyone was stunned. Logan stood as Virge shifted into a more human form and approached Roman, who surprisingly shied away. 

“Virgil I’m sorry for keeping this from you. I—”

“You don't have to apologize.” Virge said softly, his heart swelling with enamor and understanding. He ran a hand down Roman's cheek and said, “A púca shouldn't be with a human, it only brings nightmares. But with you, I found a dream I'd given up on for so long.”

“Virgil,” Roman breathed, “I love you with all of my being.”

“Then why don't you prove it,” he teased, leaning towards the fake prince, his eyes fluttering shut as a new confidence filled him. Roman leaned closer, nearly hypnotized by the action, but fully aware and willing to see it through.

Their lips met and a flash of golden light erupted from them. Roman clung to Virgil, desperate for more of him. Virgil smiled into the kiss as Roman bunched his shirt into his fists. A tingling sensation ran down both of their spines. They separated more elated than ever before.

The building was silent, staring in awe at them. A set of feathered wings sprouted from both of their backs. Roman's were like a golden eagle's with a stripe of scarlet crossing the them. Virgil had never seen something so beautiful, the most wonderful sight in the world, but Roman would have argued that point with all he had. Virgil's black raven wings shone with different hues of purple, navy, and emerald in the dusk light, like an aurora trapped in his feathers. 

Two púcaí found true love.

  
  



	25. Love's True From

"Wow!” the friar spoke, “I never got to witness a fae getting their wings! Especially not a púca!” Roman cocked his head and eyed the friar suspiciously. He knew that voice but it couldn't be.

“Emile?”

“Yeppers! And I can't believe you're alive after all these years! Elliot owes me a honeysuckle crown!” 

“Elliot!? They thought I was dead!?”

“Well you vanished from the Northern Massif, Romano! What were we supposed to think!?” Emilie laughed, “The Picanis love you, wait til they hear this!”

“As long as they know I'm not going back!” Roman laughed, “Or call me Romano again…”

“I'll be sure to mention that Roman!” Emilie smiled knowingly. He noticed that someone was getting agitated.

“Not to be an ass, but I wasn't done with him yet.” Virgil cut in.

“Oh, sorry! I'll let you two have your romantic moment under the sunset!” he chuckled, expecting meaner from the local púca.

“Sunset!?” Remy shrieked, reminding everyone that he was still there, “I—I gotta go!” he stumbled back, ready to make a break for it, when a hand around his wrist stopped him.

“Remy, please,” Logan said and looked into his eyes, “don't leave. I almost lost you and I would hate to repeat that mistake.”

“Logan I—”

“I'm begging you, I know I made a mistake, and I will never be able to make it up to you, but it's because of this mistake that I came to understand the truth, that I–that I love you. If you truly must leave, I hope you can at least understand that.” Logan said desperately.

“If you love me, you have to love all of me, babe.” Remy sighed, pulling his hand away and trained his eyes on the ground. This was the moment he'd been dreading since he arrived.

Patton coaxed Ethan away from the window and into a human form, allowing for the twilight sky to shine in. A blue aura surrounded Remy and grew. It was seven feet tall and glowing brightly. And it vanished instantly.

A tall, bulky, green ogre with dark green markings on the face–a female ogre1–was standing in Remy's place, and his bindings were ruined. He was hideous–Roman was ready to faint. A woman in the congregation screamed.

“That explains why you are never around at night.” Logan commented.

“Girl, I am ugly!” Remy chuckled awkwardly, “Why would I stick around to gross you out?”

“I’m not grossed out. On the contrary, I find this change in appearance quite—quite—” Logan tried to clarify, only to make a blushing fool of himself.

“He thinks you're hot like this!” Roman interjected—causing a little embarrassment was justified.

“I suppose you could phrase it that way, yes.” Logan grumbled, “But appearance doesn't change my feelings. You are still the lively, mischievous, intelligent person who won my affections. I only hope I can still win yours.”

“Lolo,” Remy whimpered, “I fell for you during our first heart to heart. And now I wonder—what if we kissed, would that, like, break the curse?”

“I would be willing to test the hypothesis, if you want.”

“You can just say you want a kiss, babe!” Remy chuckled and bent over, pecking Logan on the lips.

The blue aura consumed him yet again, lifting him off the ground. A vortex of wind circled him and the wind seemed to speak:

_ By night one way by day another, this shall be the norm,  _

Bright golden light shot out of the blue glow, sending a ripple of warmth outward. And then the ball of magic lowered to the ground.

_ Until you find True Love's first kiss, and then take Love’s true form. _

“Remy!” Logan shouted as he caught the real prince, falling to his knees. A fully human man, dressed in a white coat and pants with a red band on either arm and gold trim blinked up at him.

“What a rush, babe!” Remy giggled, “How do I look?”

“Like a fantastic myth” Logan grinned, “But that's how you always look.”

“Better kiss me and make sure I'm real!” Remy teased. Logan smirked and crashed their lips together.

“Aww!” Patton squealed, brimming with emotions “Ethan hug me!” He leapt into a surprised dragon's arms and clung to his neck. Ethan stumbled back from the force and grunted.

“You couldn't have done that as a cat?”

Patton planted a kiss on his scaly cheek and said, “You've got to be kitten me! Cats can't smooch!”

“And apparently neither can you. Your aim is terrible!” Ethan joked just to make Patton as flustered as he was. Nope! Patton pulled him into a quick kiss and grinned wickedly.

“I think I can smooch purrfectly well!”

“Wow! I never thought I'd see so many types of love blossom in front of me!” Emile cut in with a giggle, “Should I continue the wedding, Lord Logan?” Logan pulled away from Remy and eyed the suspicious friar thoughtfully.

“He hasn’t asked me yet, doc!” Remy laughed. Logan wet bright red and cleared his throat. He locked eyes with Remy, cupping his face in one hand, and swallowed his fear.

“Remy Traum–Prince Remy Traum, would you—”

“Hell yeah, babe! Took you long enough!” he cut Logan off with a cheer. Emile snickered at the pair, not forgetting the other two blossoming romances in the room.

“You guys wanna make it a joint wedding?” he asked the four at the altar watching.

“Nah, E and I are gonna take it a little slower!” Patton beamed, while Ethan nodded in agreement.

“Virge?” Roman asked meekly with a weak smile. Virgil smirked and shook his head.

“I just met you, give it some time. We have plenty of it.” Roman grinned and took his hand, bringing it to his lips, brushing the knuckles against his lips.

“Amor, te esperaría por una eternidad2.”

“Bí ciúin!3” Virgil hissed and averted his gaze. He had no idea what Roman was saying, but it was probably something incredibly sappy. Of course, Roman didn’t understand what came from his mouth, but he got the picture, and smirked.

“Alrighty!” Emile clapped, “Let’s get this wedding back on track!” At that everyone cleared the altar except for the grooms and Emile. Logan faced Remy with the happiest expression he had worn in a long time. Remy was just as impish as ever, but more giddy than he had ever been.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of these two souls.” Emile began, “if there is anyone who objects to this union—well, sorry!” Remy snickered at the little shrug that came with that.

“Do you, Lord Logan Lehrer of Sandrose take Prince Remy Traum of Darkwood to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health until death do you part?”

“I do. And I vow to love, cherish, and respect him until the end of time.”

“Aww! And do you, Prince Remy Traum of Darkwood take Lord Logan Lehrer to be your lawfully wedded husband—”

“I do! In sickness, health, and beyond death!” Remy cut in, “Now, can I kiss my nerd?”

“You may kiss the nerd!” Emile laughed. Remy grabbed Logan by the jacket and kissed him, hard. Patton, who was watching intently, swore he detected tongue.

“Woah Puumba! Not in front of the kids!” Emile laughed. Remy pulled away for just a moment to flip Emile off.

“Thank you all for coming to witness this union!” Emile addressed the awed crowd, “You may go at your leisure and celebrate!” And then they started to file out of the chapel.

“Who knew Lolo had it in him to do the right thing?” Patton chuckled softly. Virgil heard him and frowned. Perhaps there was a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1–I messed with canon so I could have a better way to address transman Remy than the typical dysphoria-causing traits.  
> 2– "Love, I would wait for you for an eternity."  
> 3– "Shut up!"


	26. Tied up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Anyone remember the constellations in chapter 13? They're back_

The reception in the next room had yet to really pick up, but that was okay for the newlyweds and their five guests. Logan had them gathered in a simple parlour with a warm fireplace and a circle of blue couches. There were a few things that required some discussion.

“So Emile, I gather from your association with Roman that you aren't actually a monk. What brings you from the Massif?” Logan asked seriously, despite being curled up to Remy's side. Across from him, Emile chuckled.

“You are correct! I raced up here to investigate some fae findings. I never traveled so fast in my life!”

“Fae findings?” Virgil leaned toward him, highly interested. The púca lounging next to him watched them curiously—the Emilio Picani he knew wasn't one to rush things.

“Yep! After their friend’s tree came down Elliot got some crazy news. Apparently their friend found a n old crest carved into some dark green marble and contacted them immediately.”

“Elliot's friend? Could we get a name Emile?” Roman butted in.

“Talyn. They were living with Elliot's cousin. But as I was saying, the crest. They thought it was from the court of Morgan. That's what, 10,000 years old? I came to investigate and let me tell you I was not expecting the closest thing to finding Wan Shi Tong's library!”

“Wan Shi Tong’s library?” Ethan echoed, not entirely sure of the reference.

“Yup! That tree coming down led us straight to Alexor, the great city lost to the ages. It was the cultural center of the ancient fae world! And it was perfectly preserved! You could even read the books in the great library since the magic protecting them is still potent!”

“Library?” Remy asked hesitantly. The way Logan shot up was a red flag.

“Yup! After Alex the Vigilant healed High Sídhe Morgan's heart and melted their heart of stone, they built that city as a symbolic gesture to consummate the reunion of humanity and the faire folk. It's a heritage site and a half. I had to get to the local rulers and explain.”

“Local rulers?” Patton asked, draped over Ethan's lap, “You mean Logan?” Logan's breathing became harsh as the statement hit him.

“You betcha! The High Sídhe was totally on board when I explained everything. But when I got here I got roped into officiating this wedding. I think it's my clothes.” Emile shrugged.

“My plan can no longer happen.” Logan breathed.

“No, but if you ask nicely, maybe Nana will let you visit.” Virgil jeered.

“Nana?” Patton sat up. Did he just suggest—?

“Yeah my grandmother, the one who adopted my dad, is the High Sídhe. It's not that big a deal, I'm not like a prince or something.” Virge explained, “I’m more like a stray she took in.”

“Do you think she'll pardon me after I threatened to take some of her territory?”

“If you explain the situation, she might. I can put in a good word for you, on one condition.” Virge mused.

“What might that be?”

“Pardon Patton for his crimes. And because you still owe me for the quest, you can start cutting taxes too.”

“Virge–I killed people–I don't want to go to jail but I can't bear the thought of being completely pardoned.” Patton argued.

“I have just the punishment for that.” Remy smirked, “One year of living with the same dragon who guarded me, doing whatever he asks.”

“That's pure evil, Remy.” Ethan chuckled, “Making someone clean my scales, do my laundry, and rub my wings for a year? Not to mention dealing with my insatiable bloodlust! He could die.” Logan's face lost all color. He was about to protest but Patton had something to say:

“I'll take it–it’s the price I'm willing to pay for what I've done.” He flashed Ethan a wink before eyeing Logan seriously, “And when my time is served, I will need to find work.”

“Take my old job. From what Lolo’s said about you, you sound like the perf person.”

“I think I might be willing to do that, if he returns the excess he took.”

“I will.” Logan's agreed with a grin. Patton smiled back. They were on the way to being friends again.

“Not that this isn't necessary or anything, but I think it's rude to keep your party guests waiting.” Ethan spoke up. He had a point–there was a lot left to work out, but it was not the time.

“In that case, you are gonna be my first and last dance partner, hot stuff!” Patton giggled and got to his feet.

“That pun was simply clawful!” Ethan jeered, taking Patton's hand and leading him to the ballroom.

“Those two are made for each other.” Emile commented once they were gone.

“I suppose so.” Logan responded.

“They're soulmates! You and Remy are soulmates! We have three couples of soulmates that have some magical proof and it's just occurring to you all the pieces fit?” Roman scoffed.

“Sei esatto, Romano.1” Emile hummed, “And Ethan is right. Go have fun. It's worth celebrating!”

“You got it, doc!” Remy laughed and got up, “C'mon Lolo, you have to show me your sick moves!” He never gave Logan a chance to say anything, instead he dragged his new husband to the ballroom.

“Well, what about you two?” Emile eyed Roman and Virgil.

“I don't really do well at parties.” Virgil admitted sheepishly.

“You can always go home. You just can't stay in here.”

“And you have to introduce me to Joan.” Roman added. He was not gonna force Virge into a situation that made him uncomfortable—embarrassed, sure, but not uncomfortable. And he certainly looked embarrassed. But he did have to confirm to Joan that he didn't kill anyone in his rage.

“Let's go.”

* * *

Joan was happily seated in Virgil's favorite chair. They had fixed the claw marks and needed something to do until Virgil returned. It was already well past midnight and they were getting fidgety.

And then the door flew open. Joan sat up and grinned. That smile faded when a stranger waltzed in, a púca with golden wings. Not Virge. This one was messing with the wrong pixie!

“Who the fuck are you!?” they shouted.

“I would ask you the same, but I have a feeling I know who you are.” the stranger laughed. And then he was tackled to the ground by the one and only Virgil.

“Get off!”

“That's what you get for dropping me on the hill and running off!”

“What the fuck is going on here!? What's with the wings!?” Joan gawked, getting Virgil's attention.

“Oh, hey Joan, you're still here?” he asked all too casually.

“Uh, yeah! Don't leave me hanging here, a little explanation please!”

“Right,” Virge winced and got up, allowing Roman to do the same, “I heard about the old city for starters. I made up with this one and I kissed my true love.”

“Uh huh, and?”

“And I'm Roman, a prince impersonator from the Northern Massif.”

“The guy I told you about.” Virge clarified, “Apparently he was one of us this whole time.”

“Oh! Is he your wing bringer?” they asked with a wicked smirk, turning Virgil's face into a tomato.

“I am! And he's mine! Please tell me I'm a lucky guy! I think I am but you know him better!” Roman answered proudly.

“Yeah you are!” Joan laughed, “I guess I better get going before Talyn wonders where I am! Plus I don't wanna get between you two love birds!”

“Joan!” Virgil groaned and hid his face. Roman snickered while the pixie shrank and flew off into the night.

“They're gone now, Virgil. No need to hide that beautiful face.” Roman teased and pulled Virgil's hands away. Virgil glared at him through his blush.

“I'm not hiding _your_ face!”

“That's right, your hiding yours, and that is criminal. You'll have to pay for that crime.” Roman goaded with a wink.

“What's my sentence?”

“Two dozen kisses.”

“That's a light sentence.”

“It is, perhaps it should be two hundred.”

“You're awfully eager.”

“What can I say? That scowl is making me go crazy.”

“In a good way?”

“In the best way!” Roman laughed, “I can only imagine what your smile could do to me!” Virgil snorted and shook his head, smiling brightly. Roman's heart nearly stopped and his jaw went slack. One person could not be this adorable, terrifying, and beautiful.

“My imagination was wrong.” he breathed as Virge calmed down. Virgil smirked and kissed one of his horns.

“Don’t underestimate me Romano Anxo Riordan Coello Castillo of the Northern Massif.”

“I wouldn't dream of it, Virgil Ciarán Jarlath O'Sídhe of Foraiose ná Sióga. But how on earth did you learn that?”

“A púca has his ways.” Virge teased and kissed his cheek.

“You know you keep missing, right?” Roman laughed.

“Oh am I? Why don't you show me where to aim?” Virge hummed impishly. Roman grabbed his chin and sweetly pressed their lips together. Virge kissed back and melted into him. This was what a lover felt like, and he couldn't get enough. After years of doubting, he was finally able to get a happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- "you're right Roman"
> 
> _Full names are what give fae power over a person. There's no big secrets between them now._


	27. 5 Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _AKA the Epilogue_

“Hey, slow down my aubergine dream!” Roman shouted. The black horse ahead of him paused and glanced back irately.

“We're going to be late! Logan is already anal about schedules but Remy wants is there on time too. Remy!”

“I know, I know!” Roman sighed, “At this rate we'll be there early! Breathe Principe Morado.” Virge took a deep breath and relaxed.

“You’re right. I'm kinda nervous. We're going to hear Remy's real last name, be surrounded by the Sídhe counsel, and worst of all, we'll have to meet the prince.”

“He’s turning three! I promise you he won't be scared! He adored Patton's shape shifting! He'll love you too—not nearly as much as I love you, you cute worrywart—there’s one less thing to fear.” Roman responded and stamped his hoof. He was definitely right but there was something off. Virge studied the white stallion and tried to figure him out.

“Shall we press on?” Roman hummed, pulling Virge into the present again.

“Let's go.”

* * *

 

The ballroom was far from packed, only a select few were allowed to enter. That was a relief for Virgil as he and Roman escaped the wild crowd partying on the castle grounds. The second the pair stumbled inside they immediately took in a familiar warmth.

“Virgil! Roman! You made it! God it's good to see you!” Patton greeted from one of the long table in the center of the room. He got up and ran to hug his friends. There was no escape.

**_Slam_ **

Virgil and Roman got hit by the bear hug of the century, getting their arms pinned in the process. Roman winced as his flawless white suit became wrinkled. His red sash remained unscathed, at least. Virgil just let it happen. Patton would let go eventually.

“Kitten, please.” Ethan spoke up, appearing next to his husband silently.

“Fy nghariad aur!” Patton squealed and freed the fae from his formidable grasp. Instead, Ethan became the subject of his affections when Patton clung to his side.

“What did you just call him?” Roman asked.

“‘My golden darling’ isn't it the cutest!?”

“Adorable.” Virgil snickered, “I take it the Maddocs like you.”

“My father _adores_ him.” Ethan groaned, “But he's the only one in Snowdonia who feels that way.”

“His mom is a gem!” Patton added. Ethan gave him a look that said, 'shut up before I shut you up.’ Patton winked at him.

“You should say hi to Lo! He really wants to say something to you, Virge! All good things, I promise!” Patton chuckled. Virgil's shoulders went tense, and luckily for him, Roman was there to wrap a warm arm around them.

“Let's go greet our hosts.” Roman suggested and led Virgil away from the punning pairing. If Virge were paying attention, he might've noticed that Roman's voice hitched. He would have noticed that nervousness that gnawed at the one he loved. All he could see was the scattered toys and toddler under the huge window with two figures on either side of him.

“Roma! Virge!” Remy called when he spotted them. He didn't shout, per say, but it sure got the young prince’s attention.

“Remy my shining star! It's been too long!” Roman cheered moving away from Virgil to embrace his friend. Virge snickered when Roman hoisted Remy upon a hug and twirled on the balls of his feet.

“Daddy,” Virge heard the young price ask Logan, “is the goat-man going to make Papa throw up?”

“No, no. Roman is a friend with no intention of harming anyone.” Logan clarified and took a knee to be eye level with the surprisingly fair-haired toddler.

“What about his boyfriend? Is that his boyfriend?” the child asked in a loud whisper. Logan looked at Virgil and smiled.

“His boyfriend's not gonna hurt anyone either. Do you want to say hello?” The boy nodded and grabbed his father's shirt. Logan hoisted him up and balanced him on his hip. They met Virgil halfway.

“Hey, long time no see, L.” Virgil greeted awkwardly. He didn't want to scare the kid.

“Far too long. But I must admit running a kingdom _and_ raising this energetic son of mine is time consuming.”

“I bet.” Virgil smirked, revealing his sharp teeth.

“Do all goats have pointy teeth?” the prince asked without hesitation. Logan winced. He was as curious as his father alright.

“Who said I was a goat? I'm a fairy. My name is Virgil.” he hummed. The prince’s eyes widened in wonder.

“I’m Thomas!” he giggled, “Are you supposed to be a scary fairy? The other fairies don't have pointy teeth.”

“Yeah, I am, when I want to be.” Virgil shrugged, “But ask your dads, I'm not that bad.”

“That's right Thomas. Virgil is a very special fairy. He is the reason I married Papa and without him, you might not be here. I owe him so much more than I can ever give.” Logan added, keeping his eyes locked with Virgil's, “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me yet, I still have a gift for Thomas."

“He already received quite a few–radiating joy, happiness, strength, song, leadership, honesty, beauty, kindness, acting talent, a connection with animals, and resilience.”

“The Sídhe really came through.” Virgil mumbled, “but I have something different.”

“Is it a puppy?!”

“Nope, sorry buddy. I bless you with compassion, so that no matter how different someone seems, you can see past their differences to know the person inside.” he said, his eyes glowing. A little periwinkle shone in Thomas’ iris when he was done.

“Truly a potent gift coming from you. Thank you, Virgil.” Logan said stiffly. He was not ready to cry over a meaningful gesture, not yet.

“Ooh girl, you can't top that!” Remy said to Roman with a laugh. Roman shrugged.

“I prefer the bottom.” Roman shrugged, “top bunks are unsettling when you've been trapped in a tower.” Virgil and Remy saw through that cover up. Remy laughed harder much to Thomas’ confusion.

“They were both locked in a tower, kid, that's all.” Virge shrugged.

“That's right!” Roman cheered, “and I have a humble gift as well.”

“It's not a puppy is it?” Thomas pouted.

“No, but I do bless you with determination, so that you may always have the will to follow your dreams.” Roman replied, his eyes glowing warm and rosy. Thomas’ eyes mirrored his and a clever smile crossed his face.

“I'm gonna get a puppy! I just gotta prove I can care for a puppy first!”

“What have you done, Roman?” Logan whimpered.

“I think it's a great present for my little blonde bombshell!” Remy cut in, “Thanks, babe!”

“Only the best for you and your son.” Roman smiled, “But that's not the best magic I can do.” Thomas stared at him hopefully–he really wanted a puppy. He was disappointed when Roman pulled a closed red rose from thin air.

“Who should I give this to, Prince Thomas?”

“Virge! Because red roses are for your lover!”

“You taught him well!” Roman commented before placing the flower in Virgil's hand. A certain purple boy was looking pretty pink!

“Now Thomas, what do you think you should give a lover when you want to spend the rest of your life with them?” Roman asked.

“A ring or a big cake!” he cheered, making Logan chuckle. Roman nodded and snapped his fingers. The rose opened, splaying its petals to reveal purple splotches on the inside of the petals, as well as a simple gold ring with rubies encrusted into it.

“Oh my God! Girl!” Remy squealed. Virgil stared at the ring, unable to process the situation. He was so ready to marry Roman, but this proposal was just a bit much.

“It’s a ring!” Thomas gasped, “Quick! Put it on so you can make pancakes at night together! Like Patt an E!”

“So that's what they call it.” Virge mumbled and slipped the ring on his finger.

“I'll take that as a yes.” Roman snickered.

“It's kind of a shame,” Virgil commented and fished in his pocket, “I was going to give you this after the party.” He pulled a ring encrusted with amethysts and placed it on Roman's finger, “I guess I can skip the poem.”

“Your breathing is poetry, querido!” Roman squealed and pressed their lips together. It was short lived since a certain someone was grossed out.

“Yucky! Daddy make it stop!”

“We're done for now,” Virge giggled after pulling away, “No more gross grown up stuff at your party.”

“Good! Now can we have cake?” tiny Thomas cheered.

“Dinner first, Thomas.” Logan answered, “Come on, let's go get some pizza, then we'll have cake.”

“Pizza!” Thomas and Patton shouted at the same time. It was amazing that Patton heard Logan from across the room.

“Pizza?! Ooh girl, step aside!” Remy laughed and led his family toward the table. Roman waved at the child who was bidding them farewell.

“Proposing at a three year old's birthday party?” Virgil jeered once they had some privacy, “Why steal his thunder?”

“Hmm, so the Sídhe Council could witness your acceptance. Nana would've stopped me if she didn't approve.” Roman replied coyly.

“You think I care if she approves?” Virge growled and grabbed his shirt, “If I did, I wouldn't be doing this.” He pulled Roman in and planted a deep kiss on his fiance’s lips. Roman wrapped his arms around Virgil's shoulders and let the taller of the two dip him.

“You are so lucky Thomas wasn't looking, you liar!” Roman giggled as he righted himself. Virge smirked and shook his head.

“I’m lucky for a lot of reasons, Princey.” Virgil hummed and glanced over his shoulder. An old fae woman in a purple cloak at the table smirked at him and raised her goblet. From there he glanced over the table, spotting Joan, Talyn, Patton, Ethan, and the royal family. He looked at Roman and smiled,

“And most of them are right here.”

“You really are as much a sap as me. And almost as lucky too.”

“I'm gonna marry a sap.” Virgil groaned, “Can you save it for later?”

“You are my rescuer, you deserve a reward for that, and as I said before, 'te esperaría por una eternidad.’”

“You don't have to wait that long, you dork. Let's get some pizza before Patton eats it all.” Virge laughed and took Roman's hand. This was the start of a happily ever after.

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Patton and Ethan were actually making pancakes after midnight–nothing suggestive!_


	28. Pancakes at Midnight (Bonus)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _In honor of All Star by Smash Mouth's birthday, I give you this little snippet of pure Moceit fluff_

“Kitten, are you sure about this?” Ethan asked as his husband as the ex-thief led him by the hand into the castle kitchen. Patton smiled from ear-to-ear, leading the dragon through the doors. He always snuck into the kitchens as a kid, with Logan no less! As long as Logan was in charge, this was okay.

“Paw-sitive!” Patt laughed, “I mean, what’s life without a little risk? Besides, I’m hungry! It’s not like we’re making stir-fry or lasagna!”

“You and you lasagna you fat cat.” Ethan scoffed.

“Hey! I might be on the chubby side, but there’s no need to be mean!”

“You know I love you and your chubbiness.” Ethan sighed, “I’m sorry for coming off as harsh, darling.” He pressed his lips to Patton’s hair and smiled softly at the giggle he got in return.

“C’mon! Let’s get cooking!” Patt said, dragging him toward the stove. Ethan pulled the griddle from the pot rack hanging over the range while Patt scrambled to pull out the ingredients he needed.

“Should we be quieter?” Ethan thought aloud as he gathered a bowl and spoon, “Even if we’re allowed to be here, Logan and Thomas are trying to sleep.”

“Nah! Lo sleeps like a rock!” Patton laughed and slid into his husband’s side, “You know how Remy is too, and Thomas is a good kid, sleeps like his dads.”

“You have a point there. And you had better be right. I refuse to share my pancakes with anyone other than you." Ethan commented as he cracked the eggs.

"Sharing is caring." Patton chuckled and leaned into him, "That's why I tell everyone how much I love you! Because I want to share with everyone that you're the best!"

"Oh, pussycat, I am the  _ worst _ . Just ask Remy!" Ethan laughed and booped his nose. Patton batted his hand away and added the sugar. 

"Oh hush! You might be rough around the edges but you are the absolute best! No one is better!"

"Sweetie, that is a lie," Ethan chuckled adding the rest of the wet ingredients as he mixed the batter, "I can think of one person who's better." 

"Oh yeah? Name that son of a bitch!" Patton huffed playfully and poured in the flour and baking powder slowly, "I'll fight them and prove you wrong!"

"Please don't fight yourself. I wouldn't know who to root for." Ethan teased.

"You smoothie!" Patt giggled, making Ethan blush and smile. Instead of replying verbally, he booped Patt's nose with the batter-covered spoon. 

"You wanna go, you flamin hot little shit?"

"Language, you tomcat!" Ethan teased and set the batter aside, "My sweet little ward might be awake.”

“I thought we agreed that Prince Thomas was sleeping.”

“No, we agreed he’s a heavy sleeper.” Ethan hummed wickedly, “We never agreed that he managed to go to sleep. He was fidgety when I tucked him in.” He placed his hands on Patt’s waist and smirked at him.

“And I’ve been running my mouth this whole time? E! Why didn’t you warn me?”

“What’s life without a little risk?”

“Oh I see how it is!” Patt growled and pulled Ethan in for a kiss. Of course, someone was distracted when their mouths were on each other, which was Patton’s goal. He snuck a handful of batter from the bowl and broke the kiss, smearing the mess over the smooth part of his lover’s face.

“Playful tonight,” Ethan mused and wiped the batter from his face, only to smear it on Patton’s, “you’re in trouble now, Kitten.” 

“Bring it on.” Patton jeered, getting another handful ready. Ethan raised his eyebrows and copied him, ready for battle.

A wad of goo hit Ethan’s chest.

Another wound up in Patton’s hair.

The adrenaline had yet to flow. Both reached for more, but froze just above the bowl when a small voice caught them off guard.

“Patt, E, it’s nighttime. What are you doing?” Prince Thomas asked, holding a stuffed bear to his chest. Patton and E shared a look, forming a sort of truce, and turned their attention to Thomas.

“We were just making pancakes, kiddo.” Patton admitted.

“But it’s not breakfast time.” Thomas pouted, somewhat confused.

“No, but when you’re a grown-up, you can have pancakes anytime you want.” Ethan replied gently, “And when you’re married, night time is the best time to make pancakes.”

“Why? Is there pancake magic at night?”

“Nope,” Patton giggled and took a knee, letting the toddler see how messy he had gotten, “the magic comes from the person or people you’re with.”

“We have a special magic because we’re married. It caused the batter to explode and get all over us.” Ethan added.

“Woah! So I could make asploding pancakes if I get married?”

“I don’t recommend it. They don’t taste too good when they’re not cooked.” Patton chuckled. Thomas gawked at them, trying to make sense of this incredible new information.

“I take it you couldn’t sleep, my prince?” Ethan asked as he found a towel. Thomas shook his head and held his bear tighter.

“Paddington was hungry.” he mumbled into the toy’s soft fur. Ethan hummed as he wiped his face and shirt.

“Well, we can’t have that, now, can we?”

“No, we can’t!” Patton gasped, “Would Paddington like a pancake? You can have a couple too.”

“Yes please!” Thomas grinned, “Can I have extra syrup?”

“Of course kiddo! But first, let’s go wash up.” Patt said, getting to his feet. He needed to rinse his hair if nothing else, and he was not going to break Logan’s biggest eating rule, not when it was as simple as hand washing! Fortunately, Thomas agreed, reaching for Patton’s hand.

“You wanna heat up the pan and get started, fy nghariad aur?” Patt asked, leading Thomas to the door.

“Of course, Kitten!” Ethan chuckled, “Don’t take too long.” He turned on the stove and spat a tiny fireball at it to ignite the stove. Thomas gawked, still amazed that his guard was a dragon, and aimlessly let Patton guide him from the room. He expected magical flapjacks!

* * *

Patton and the young prince returned to the kitchen, and not a moment too soon. There were two plates each with a small stack of pancakes waiting for them on the counter. Ethan had a third one ready as he turned off the stove.

“Smells good, E!” Patton praised, hoisting Thomas up to rest on his hip. Ethan glanced over his shoulder and grinned.

“This time I didn’t burn anything, you’re quite lucky!”

“Burn?”

“He’s just being silly, Thomas, don’t you worry!” Patton said, carrying the prince to the counter. He set the prince down on a clean patch of countertop next to the smallest stack and shot Ethan a warning glare.

“I like to tease Patton, he’s such a wonderful pancaker it’s hard to measure up.”

“You make good pancakes too!” Patton huffed, “No talking bad about yourself.”

“Oh kitten, I didn’t say I was bad at it, I just know you’re better at this, and I am better with other things.”

“Um, E,” Thomas peeped, “Where’s the syrup?”

“It’s inside the pancakes so you can eat with your hands. We wouldn’t want to get too messy this late, now would we?”

“Ooh!” Thomas grinned and picked up a golden-brown disc excitedly. He took a big bite. His eyes went wide and he excitedly munched away.

“And for you,” Ethan handed Patton the plate he just filled, rather than have him take the stack already set out. Patton took the plate and bit back a squeal.

“You are the cutest thing, E!” Patt giggled. All of his pancakes were heart-shaped. Ethan shrugged and grabbed the last plate, pleased to finally be eating.

“I have to disagree again.”

“If you say I’m the cutest thing I will physically fight you!” Patton huffed and took a giant chunk out of his flapjack.

“I was going to say the expression on Thomas’ face, but you are a close second.”

“I’m not cute!” Thomas butted in after polishing off his snack, “I’m a big boy and I’m a handsome prince!”

“You can be a handsome prince  _ and _ cute.” Ethan argued, “And you are both, as well as overtired.” Thomas couldn’t argue that, with a full tummy, the toddler was ready to go to sleep, but he didn’t want to go to sleep while Patton and E were still up. The grumpy pout hid nothing from Patton.

“Overtired? Me too!” Patt yawned, grabbing a second flapjack, “I’m going to bed as soon as I’m done cleaning up!”

“Thank you for volunteering, darling. Just bring my plate outside and I’ll finish when I’m back.” Ethan smiled and picked up the young prince.

“Come along, young prince, it’s time for bed again. And I assure you that once you’re safe and tucked in, Patton and I will be headed to bed too.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“No? But sleeping leads to dreams and you just ate two whole pancakes! Do you know how much good-dream magic is in your tummy?”

“Is it a lot?”

“Oh yes, yes it is. Shall we?”

“Yeah.” Thomas yawned and curled up in Ethan’s arms. Patton smiled softly at them as they left.

* * *

“It’s kinda silly, but I keep forgetting you’re a big dragon!” Patton giggled and held Ethan who was draped across his chest. Someone devoured his snack in one bite after he put Thomas to bed.

“I keep forgetting you’re warmer than a dragon.” Ethan hummed, dozing off.

“I keep forgetting how adorable you are when you’re ready to fall asleep.”

“I keep forgetting that I thought you would hate me, I’d rather not remember that.”

“I’d rather you not too.” Patton sighed and kissed his forehead.

“I love you, E. More than the world.”

“You’re my treasure, Patt, love you too.”


	29. Author Notes

Wow! You made it to the end of the story! Thank you for reading this meme turned serious!

There's a couple things I didn't grg to address in the fic that just didn't fit in the plot.

  * Every location mentioned is based off a real place, mostly
  * Sandrose is supposed to be in Ireland, since the púca is an Irish myth. The name is just a reworking of 'Sanders'
  * The Northern Massif is based on Galicia in Spain. They have a large population of people with Irish heritage. Again this is all because of the myth.
  * Emile is from Campania, Italy. He's a monaciello, a fairy who dresses like a monk, lived in abandoned monasteries, and offers riches to those down on their luck. He is very good at dating archaeological sites hence his presence.
  * Patton's last name is Lannon.
  * Remy's trans and the curse breaking didn't change that because he didn't have a problem with anything below the belt. 
  * Remy is from Darkwood, which is supposed to be in Baden-Württemberg, Germany. His mother's last name is Traum, his father is from England (or the equivalent) and his last name is Sanders.
  * Logan's father hails from Darkwood as well (no relation to the Traum family) and married into nobility.
  * Patton comes from a long line of wizards/druids. He studied transmutation with his grandpa.
  * Joan and Talyn are just roommates in this au. I don't ship real people, it's awkward...
  * Young Thomas was blonde irl, gotta love the reaction videos
  * Morgan was a fanon name for Patton. And Padig is just a different version of Patton and Alex was a fanon name for Virge. Thought I'd add an Easter egg for the old fanders



I really can't believe this is over. I had so much fun writing this. Time to move on to a Moceit fic based around an angst headcanon and a song from the Lion King 2! ~~and my other wips maybe~~

~~~~Thank you guys for taking the time to read this mess! You are all awesome af!


	30. Announcement

Sequel in progress

 

Thank trash boy. 


End file.
